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You must be exhausted- sounds really really hard and you sound like you've been really therapeutic - could you try a way to extract yourself and set a bedtime routine and be very visual and verbal and sensory about it- so a bedtime routine and draw a cartoon of it together and plan it together- then leave something of yours in bed- and stick to leaving the room at the pre organised time with the same phrase etc? Am sure you have much of this in place - but just felt your tiredness and wanted to send a very quiet hope lo is still asleep hug! X

Thanks it means a lot. She is still asleep thankfully. She never leaves my side so it's so hard to get any space whilst these things are going on. I genuinely needed the toilet and I didn't even get to do that on my own. I think she is a bit of an emotional leaky bucket at the moment but hopefully all for the greater good.

No solutions here but can empathise. I have just hijacked a thread on older adoptees board explaining the problem i am having getting ds2 to sleep and keeping him there.Hope you find something that works for you, for me nothing has worked and i think that in some way it is the emotions that actually need looked at and/or helped to deal with.I was struck by your saying this is probably progress. I hadn't thought of it that way, but for my boy it may actually be true.

Have you thought about co-sleeping? That's what I did with my very wobbly (when she came to me) 5 year old. Bedtime routine including washing and getting into our PJs together, bedtime story... then we both went to bed and I read (my own book) while she fell asleep.Once she was asleep I could get up for a bit (though was usually exhausted and didn't!) as long as I slept there so was there if she woke in the night.Six months on (and with big sister now with us) she generally sleeps with me, sometimes big sister, and a couple of weeks ago slept in her own bed by choice (I went away for 2 nights this week so she's been a bit clingy in the run up). She wants to be able to have sleep overs (like big sister) but I have said she can only do this when she is sleeping in her own bed each night - so she is motivated to do that and I think probably will by her own choice over the next year.

My ds and I co sleep, to be honest it was the best thing I did.In recent weeks he has managed whole nights in his own bed, we've just been 'practising' so he knows he can do it.Much like tokoloshe, we go to bed together and it's our best time of the day, so relaxing. Sometimes I get up again sometimes I don't.

Unfortunately this won't really work now as I am about to go back to work and will need to make some of my hours up in the evening.We do co-sleep of sorts. She always comes in in the night but she starts off in her own bed. To be honest on nights when we have shared (which is fairly often) she is just as bad. She had to leave school early today as she was so tearful and has literally spent the rest of the day crying on and off until she finally passed out. Very tired mum!

piglethh,Most of the time, I am totally against medicating kids for their foibles. I think when you are both suffering sleep deprivation, you have to be pragmatic. I have good friends who have used melatonin with great success. Their ADHD daughter has gone from 2 hours per night to 9! Might be worth talking to your GP about it?Phoebe x

Thanks phoebe67.One of my friends has suggested it but I have had to check with the LA because the AO is not done yet. I am waiting for the LAC nurse to get back to me. This opens up a bit of a new can of worms to me because as a single adopter do you take your child with you to the GP, or do you make an appointment for yourself to talk to the GP before they see your child. My AD is also about to have a scan on her tummy as she has been getting tummy aches, this involved a lot of lip reading between me and the doc which probably could have made a good sitcom!

Hi piglethhCan't comment re the sleeping as its the one thing my two (aged 11 and 12) have always been able to do well. To be honest they need about 12 - 13 hours even now and its rare they get that with activities in the evening.Re the doctor, if its urgent, I phone and ask to speak to a doctor about the situation and then make an appointment and take the relvent child. The other waits in the waiting room or is at school or at another activity. If its not so urgent I kmake an appointment for them but go on my own and then make another appointment and take them with me. Not ideal but they dont like to think I am talking about them so even if I had someone to sit with them in the waiting room while I went in first they would not like that. The doctors know this and dont mention the fact that we have already spoken about it and I give a short version of the issue missing out the points that are senstive. Good luckcalex

Hi If you search posts by shortbread that may help you as I know her ds had trouble sleeping and settling when placed. (Hope ok me saying so shortbread).Take careRs x