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attitude to disability

saints August 17, 2012 15:40
I am in a wheelchair I have a neurological disorder. My ad ''s attitude to my disability is totally unreasonable she continually pionts out my disability and can be very hurtful. My dh says to ignore this I do try but the way she is with me is bordering on doisgusting even though she is only 6 It is tearing us apart. Can anyone help
Edited 17/02/2021
pluto August 17, 2012 22:24
Could it be a way for her to keep you 'at arms length?'. That it has not a lot to do with your disability, but more with attachment?Children who have trouble attaching will make very hurtfull comments and do this always where it hurts most (stars at spotting peoples 'weak' point)
Edited 17/02/2021
pingu123 August 18, 2012 23:19
I recognise this i(the hurtful comments) in my youngest, and know he is very wary of attaching Has anyone any advice on how to respond to the insults. ignoring them doesn't help as he just gets cheekier. Telling him that's not nice or acceptable he just laughs and it feels wrong to leave it at that. And consequences seem wrong if he is just trying to protect himself emotionallyHe has a therapist but I'm trying to work out how to handle it while we wait for therapy to (hopefully) help
Edited 17/02/2021
true August 19, 2012 09:00
dan hughes PLACEwould try usingplayfullovingacceptingcuriousempatheticI use to turn swearing into funny phrases against my selfe.g.FB became 'why are you calling my a funny bear?' and then I could roar and be silly - not getting the expected reaction and not showing hurt were importantso maybe comments about your disability you could turn on their head 'I am the fastest mum on two wheels' etcconsidering your child's emotional age and trauma nurture timeline can help pinpoint their emotional age and how to respondmostly think younger, toddler level -no long reasoned arguments nor explanationsquick fire humourous responses diverting into something silly and funalso good to find ways of it not hurting you so much - visualise that you are in an armour plated bubble and these cruel words bounce off without reaching their targetthink youngerbuild warm attachments by early play and over months and years these cruel comments will be more balanced out by those precious positive comments that we all treasure but can be a long time coming
Edited 17/02/2021

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