Hi all. I'm after some very honest advice please.
I have a son who has been with me for 8 years now (he's currently 11yrs old). I've always kept 2x yearly leterbox contact with BM. He is not that interested in including anything in the letterbox contact when I do write, but knows that I keep in contact.
My question really is, should I explore the possibility of my son and BM meeting? She lives in a completely different part of the country to us but we sometimes visit that town to say hello to his previous foster carers. I know about past trauma, but am also aware that his current life story work from the placing authority was dire (we're currently working on this using theh ASF)
Has anyone had experience of physically meeting and the effect? I know that these experiences may vary massively but I'd be very interested to read them. Is it productive (e.g. would help him to understand himself a little bit more for when the teenage hormones hit) or make things worse because of the transition to secondary school? My son is now much more mature than he has ever been - thanks to things like cadets, hence me exploring when a good time would be. Now? Mid-secondary school? 18? Is leaving it until 18 too long? He has, in the past, asked about meeting her but understands that then wasn't a good time.
I'd be interested to hear people's honest opinions, especially if you have any experience in this area. Thank you in advance!