Edited 17/02/2021
been told my bd is too young for us to adopt
samj
September 15, 2009 12:30
Hello, I''m new to all of this and would really appreciate some advice! We''ve been told that our 4 1/2 year old bd is too young for us to even start the adoption process and also that it''s almost impossible to find single, white under 5s to adopt in our area - the city council is not even accepting applications for this ''category''. It seems that this is a bit of a lottery depending on where you live? We wanted to adopt a child who''s 2-3 years younger than our bd and thought we''d start the process now as she''d probably be 6 or so by the time it all happened, if it did, but for the county council she needs to be 6 before we can even start the process! I''ve read lots of v helpful posts here about good age gaps between bc and ac and I can see that a bigger age gap moght be good, but there also seem to be people who have adopted younger children with smaller age gaps so I''m confused! Do I have to start phoning round different councils to find one who''ll consider us? Can you even do that? Any help would be really appreciated!
Pear Tree
September 15, 2009 13:53
hello samjYes, you can and should ring a variety of LAs and VAs to see if they will accept you on their list. I have to say that the larger the age gap the better- you know the reasons, if you have read these boards but in a nut shell, its a protective factor for all of you. People have somehow got through with smaller age gaps but I would say they are very much the exception.Ring/ email some VAs/ LAs not necessarily where you live.Have you considered i-adopt?Pear Tree
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ducks
September 15, 2009 13:55
Yes you can go for approval with any LA and I'd realy recommed looking for one interested in taking you on.I think writing is much better than phoning - and less exhausting emotionally. Write a letter saying you are single/married, have no birth children / x birth children age y and z, you are of xxx ethnicity, hoping to adopt 1/2 children under x age, etc. Ask if they would be interested in you as adopters.You are not restricted in where you can apply to. Some LAs are more adventurous than others and take on prospective adopters hundreds of miles away. You will need to attend training courses with the LA as part of approval so think about where you could get to. I think there's no point going through approval with a LA who are not interested in placing with you.
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samj
September 18, 2009 11:24
thank you for that, it was very reassuring, I will phone up some other LAs now! Does anyone out there have experience of voluntary organisations? I don't really know which ones are good and which ones aren't and quite a few of them seem to be faith-based, which puts me off a bit as I'm an atheist. If anyone's had a good experience with one I'd be very interested to hear. thanks again
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champagne
September 18, 2009 13:23
Hi, i would suggest speaking to as many LA's/VA's as you can. We went with a VA who had catholic connections, but there is no need to share the same faith to be accepted. Our bc was 4 when we first started the process and was 5 when we were placed with a 2 year old. Good luck with your search.
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sapphirezodiac
September 20, 2009 23:24
hi samjwe were told to go away and wait a year or so as our child was only 4. we rung around and I cut straight to the chase as I didnt want to waste any time with absoltue no go's. we were accepted fairy quickly elsewhere but had to accept that we may have to wait a v long time to get a match because of the limited age range we could be considered for.
Edited 17/02/2021
samj
September 24, 2009 17:20
Hello again,We've found an LA nearby who is happy for us to start the process with them so off we go! I'm really pleased and thanks to everyone who replied to me - I'm glad I didn't give up at the first hurdle. Sure there'll be many, many more to come...!
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Royall
September 28, 2009 22:50
Hi samjI am glad you are phoning around! I just wanted to share with you that we started the adoption process when my bd was 6 & it has taken until she is 11 for her brother to arrive. I think you certainly need to get things going as time does not stand still. Best of luckxx
Edited 17/02/2021
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