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Hi,well done so far. The home assessment is an interesting one. Just be yourself, but as well be prepared. There will be lots of questions about your relationship, your family, your support network, how you deal with difficult situations, especially if you are looking at a sibling group, how will you meet each child's need. And with a sibling group they would like to see that you have a strong support network and are able to ask for help/support even if it is just on the practical side. Who is taking leave and for how long have you planned to take leave. Will it all work financially for you? There is a lot to think about.The home assessment made me read even more books on adoptive children and to be prepared (at least theoratically) how to deal with the different issues adoptive children come with, which helped later by reading the CPR's to recognise what we would be able to take on. I wish you good luck, it is worth it. anita

Hi AnitaThank you so much for that, thats fantastic information for us.We are currently reading Dan Hughes, "Building the Bonds of Attachment" & Pablo Fernandez "Becoming Dads" which has given us a HUGE insight. We are sort of prepared for what they may ask us, and we keep giving each other scenarious to answer.We do have a large family support network, especially with my parents who cannot wait for their grandchildren and my mum and dad are already giving us alot of support and preparing us realistically from their experience with my sister and i.Thank you for your responseJust want to start this process now and have our children with us.

Dan Hughes book is really good and you are right, it gives you a good insight what to expect. Good luck with your assessment.anita

Hi...We are just a little bit further along the line than you.We had our 1st home assesment and she was there ALL day! So be prepared and eat before they get there lol!It seems every authority do it all completely different. We started in March and are coming to the end of thes weeks preparation course. Some authorities do the course over different days but ours does it in one bulk. Alot of people wait ages for this course but we have done so well getting it this early.The course is really interesting, (i was surprised because i hate training courses but have really enjoyed this!)The next step is getting assigned a SW. But again, other people in our group have already got one so its all bonkers! It seems that this 9 month time that it apparently should take is only until panel, after that is when the waiting time kicks in... Anyway would be good to keep in touch!Mattio and Dad

Hello,Firstly congrats!Secondly just enjoy the process, it seems like a long time but flies by.We have had our boys 2 years now, its been fantastic but very hard work.If you can, take a really lovely holiday before you are matched, we didn't and wish we had taken a holiday for the 2 of us before we hit the ground running.We learnt so much about ourselves throughout the home study and talked about things I think most couples would never talk about.We have had a really positive experience so far.Good luck to you both and keep us all posted!Daddyrules

Hi DaddyrulesWe are going on holiday next week as we both really need one, so hoping when we get back the assessment can start.We are both looking forward to it, i'm a little nervous about it all but happy excited nerves i think!Both of us cannot wait to have our children and we know that its going to be hard work, the house will be messy, the temper tantrums, etc but i cannot wait for all of that, the ups and downs.Will keep you posted...Hope you and your boys are well!

Join New Family Social if you haven't already. There are frequent meetups around the country. Some LAs and VAs require adopters to show lots of proof of hands on experience with children. Do a search on the Prospective Adopters board for Brownies ! If you don't have much you could put on paper (maybe you already work with kids ?) then think about covering this. People often volunteer at scouts, brownies etc for eg 6 months. Or if you have friends and family locally with kids then do some helping out. As you would like to adopt a sibling group the sw is likely to want to see evidence of you managing several kids at once on your own and as a team.There can be real issues with sibling groups so read up on some of the issues - search these boards for some long threads on sibling groups. Your LA may well be very pleased to have you as a resource ... but they may - and really should - get into it with you about trauma bonds and how hard some sibling groups can be. It's also possible to fill the house one child at a time

Oh i remember the excited grandparents scenario so well! we too were so so excited for them that they will have grandkids but.....the reality is that we had to get the restrainers on them! what i mean is that your children when they come home to you will need to be looked after, held and comforted by ony you and your partner in the first weeks/months to fascilitate the bond between yourselves and the child/ren.I would suggest that when your parents want to meet the child/ren then let them observe from a distance say in a park.Im glad your reading Dan Hughs as this book i found extremely helpful.Speak to your assesing auth and maybe get grandparents on to a course that will help them understand this need.That being said we are now well over 2 years into placement with our two and yes its hard but thats children and you get on with it!Best of luck and just be yourselves when the sw comes around and dont try to read into the questions too much as the home study will become a bit of a trek!!All the best and if you need any advice then feel free to pm me.Regards Hubelly

Hi HubellyThanks for your reply.I didnt know that there was a course that grandparents to be could attend to inform them, i will ask our SW, I have already told them that when i feel our children will be ready is when we start meeting the "family", but in our home, so the children feel safe.Our SW is coming on thursday to start the assessment, we both cannot wait now, just want it to be all done and approved so we can find our children!!We have started to empty the bedrooms and sort our stuff out and started looking at carpets and furniture, my parents have already started to buy the toys/books/swings etc all the fun stuff lol!!Everyone one keeps telling me that raising children is hard, but i already know its not going to be an easy ride, but thats what family and friend support is for i guess to help out when we need advise or support, either way we cant wait!Thanks for your advice Daddy and Dad

We are coming to the end of our assessment, and have a provisional panel date in September. Our prep days were at the beginning, we had 4 days, split over 2 weeks, which I was worried about, but actually thoroughly enjoyed them. Then our SW was allocated. With the home study, be yourself, be open and be honest. Ours said we are not looking for perfect people, we want people who have been through different experiences in life and come out the other side, it lets them see how you cope in a crisis and how you deal with all the rubbish life can throw at you. Life experienced I believe she said. Experience of children is important, at our prep it was advised to join cubs/brownies/help out at a school etc, all to get experience of children. Spend time with friends and family children. They went into our childhood, our parents relationships, our relationship as a couple. My previous marriage. Ask lots of questions, and research things you may not understand.but be totally open about it and good luck.

Well....Its all going fantastically, we have a great social worker who is guiding us along the way.We are trialing the new BAAF assessment document which means we do more work ourselves leaving our social worker to do the main bulky bits.We have had our ASI now too.I think i have learnt alot about myself during this assessment so far, but positive.Our social worker is aiming to have us in front of pannel by November/December.This is one of the best things i have ever done in my life and i know my partner feels the same.Just cant wait to have our family complete now!

Well...We are now coming towards the end of our assessment, can't believe where the time has gone!Our SW has given us November for our approval panel date - now we are slightly scared and excited and panicky and every other emotion known to man!Cant wait to have our family complete!

I came late to this post, hope things are going okay for you x

Have only just seen this. Think very carefully about taking on three children at once. I have three, all placed separately some had time to get to know and love them one at a time. Even so three children is really, really handwork - in ways I couldn't even begin to imagine when I just had two.Some LAs are now not placing three together because of the inherent difficulties. Do make sure, at the very least, that there will have been a full assessment made prior to placing three together. It may be an 'easy', romantic notion to keep three together but in reality it is often not in any of the children's best interests, particularly the younger ones.There is a thread somewhere on pacing siblings - do look for it and read the pros and cons.