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Foster 2 adopt, going back to BP

Polly-long February 9, 2022 10:56

Hi does anyone have any advice on support for adopters for when foster child goes back to birth parents in a foster to adopt/ early permanence placement.

She had been with us 18 months on a foster to adopt placement and is returning to birth parents next week

Serrakunda27 February 9, 2022 21:41

This must be devastating for you, where is your SW in this?

All I can day is give yourself time to grieve and remember, hard as it is to let her go, you have given her a wonderful start to life, your love and care will stay with her forever

Polly-long February 11, 2022 18:14

To be fair to the SW she is doing all she can. They have been paying for therapy since July as it’s been about a year of things going south and uncertainty, but we are one of the firsts cases in our LA that this has happened to us I feel like they are trying to suss it out as we go.

I’m struggling to find other people who know what we are going through. We are losing a child, even if it’s not the traditional loss and it’s hard to find out tribe x

chestnuttree February 17, 2022 10:45

I just wanted to say that I am incredibly sorry for you. It sounds truly heartbreaking and must be so hard for you. Like Serrakunda said, you have given this little girl an amazing start in life and no one can take that away from her.

There is probably not much support out there, because the fta scheme is still fairly new and only a small number of children go back to their birth famillies and usually not after such a long time. I would look at grief counselling.

Safia February 17, 2022 10:50

I would also ask your SW to find you support - as there should be some as it’s a very difficult position to be in - not saying there is but asking makes the point - or maybe they know of others or somewhere that could provide it - otherwise as said above grief counselling is good and readily available

TheJudges101 March 3, 2022 21:26

Really glad I found this post as I came to find someone who understands what we are also going through. We've recently had a child placed back with BM after 51 weeks since having him from birth. We haven't really been offered much support from our LA.

Polly-long March 4, 2022 07:49

I can’t be much help, there was a last minute delay ( a phone call two hours before LO was due to leave ) to say that the paperwork had been messed up and the move wasn’t happening that day (that really messed with your head) and she finally left two days ago, 6 days before we would have had her for 19 months. Right now I just feel like I’m walking around with this big untreated exposed wound.

The only thing I can say is as above go to ur LA, they should be doing more for you. And if you to feel less alone please know I’m deep in the grief trench with you xx

Agape April 10, 2022 01:06

Thinking about you. I hope you have had some rest and support during this grieving time.



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