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I'm sorry but if you want to legally adopt them then you like every one else you have to go through the assessment process.

If your complex situation relates to your ex partner moving in then maybe you need to rethink it.

I don't mean this to sound harsh and unfeeling, I know in your heart they are your children and you are obviously committed to them, but legally they are not your children. If that's what you want to happen then you cannot avoid the legal processes which are there for good reasons.

I'm sorry it's so hard, I know how much you want this.

Do you have Indian citizenship? Could you adopt them while living in India and then come back as a family? I am not a lawyer, but I would assume the only way to legally adopt them without going through the British process would be to go through a domestic adoption in India. If it were no longer an international adoption, agency fees would probably be much reduced too.

You cannot have dual citizenship in India. So I have what is called an OCI which is almost like Indian citizenship. The process of adoption has to start in India as the children are there and then here I guess. I got legal advise thinking things will start off, but this started August last year and its dragging - not even an application has been made. I am down money with no progress and having to fly back and forth! My parents are struggling. I thought solicitors would actually start working by now! Its just ridiculous.

Maybe your solicitor doesn’t understand the process or if they’re immigration solicitors are waiting till you’ve gone through the adoption aspects - I think it would be a good idea to speak to someone at the international adoption place to get a clear idea of the process for your particular situation which is different from most people considering adopting overseas so may not be reflected in their website - there are some countries where an overseas adoption will do and others where you have to go through the process in both countries. Which of course you could do simultaneously I think. I would’ve thought the fact it’s an in-family adoption would make things easier in India

No its not easy. I have been through 2 solicitors and 1 barrister . This started July last year and yet not one application has been made. I think it is both places. The issue is after spending so much money I am none the wiser about what my process is. One solicitor recommended the other, but they dont talk to each other and even to breath need £100's of pounds! I am getting restless as the process has not even started months later. They take months to do a referral. My Indian solicitor says different things each time I call her and then someone is unwell etc. If someone asks me about adopting I would not recommend it. I never thought I will be at this end of the firing line ever!

It sound awfully complicated but it does appear that regardless of anything else you will have to be assessed here in the UK to adopt from India. And it’ll not be cheap. If your ex still intends to move in with you then he’ll also need to be assessed. That would seem to be the starting point - a conversation with IAC. I’m sure it’s not something they’re unfamiliar with.

You’re unlikely to find a helpful solicitor who’ll help pro bono. It all seems a bit muddled. What’s the first step?

I dont want pro bono, but if it takes 4 months to get a referral done, after paying 2.6 grand that's not great! I did speak to the IAC but they put me off saying speak to a solicitor first as home office are difficult. The assessment will come later I think - I think the process in India needs to start first - after 3 solicitors I am still "thinking and assuming" and none the wiser. At the moment I am chasing on the India side of things, which I have done since September last year. Once this is done I will know - hopefully some wiser.

You won’t need an immigration solicitor until the adoption side of things is completed and then there are criteria you will need to meet re income and housing etc - once the adoption is complete the children are yours so you would apply for entry clearance for them to join you - until that happens you can’t do anything immigration wise really

Funnily, thats not what I am being told by the 3 legal experts! I dont even know where to start!

What are you being told? Are you solicitors adoption specialist or immigration specialist or both?

https://www.gov.uk/child-adoption/adopting-a-child-from-overseas