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Absolutely no guilt required! You sound an amazing mum so dont go down that road Lydia. It is v irritating when they get into this mindset and lose motivation esp when we are running ourselves ragged ! Anyway not much practical advice to offer sorry. Not had specific experience of this but i am sure wiser people will be along soon no doubt. Look after yourself in all of this and good luck re housing your daughter. X

Hello Lydia It's good to see you on the forum. A number of us can identify with your situation. Firstly is your DD intent on having and keeping the baby? My DD who had many problems became pregnant twice and each time she chose to have a termination. I found this sad but there is no way she would have coped with a baby. If your DD can get a council flat this would be a huge benefit to her. My DD has a council flat and it has been a blessing. She has a housing officer who has been helpful and supportive over the years. There is always quite a mix of tenants. Some are undoubtedly problematic but others are great. Because of the diversity of tenants there is more tolerance of up and down or odd behaviour than there would be in a private housing situation. If your AD proceeds with the pregnancy there clearly would be concerns about the welfare of the baby when it is born. Issues relating to both the baby's parents. Both parents have problems and vulnerabilities. When my AS and his wife had their first child I telephoned the head midwife at the hospital to register my concerns about their ability to cope with a baby. A few months after the birth my daughter in law was pregnant again. They were young, irresponsible and unstable and I sent a 7 page report to the child protection team outlining my concerns. The children went in and out of care. Eventually they have had all 6 children taken into care. In your daughter's situation birth control becomes a very important issue. A mother that can care adequately for one child with good support may not be able to care for multiple children. Your AD's boyfriend clearly has major issues himself. The fact that he is homeless and has no parental support could mean that he has awful uncaring parents but frankly is more likely to mean that they have come to the end of the road with him on account of his behaviour. This could be for all sorts of reasons. My AS eventually became homeless as a result of his behaviour in his late teens. So did his wife. They actually met at a homeless hostel. If your AD has accumulated lots of debt it could be helpful for her to ask for assistance from the CAB. They are very helpful and will negotiate with creditors about a payment plan. If your AD can achieve a bit of stability it sounds like she might benefit from some sort of anger management classes. This of course becomes particularly important in relation to caring for the baby. I hope your daughter is able to show a bit more maturity and stability. Your support will make a big difference. There are a few of us on the forum that can empathise with your situation. Lily x

ILots going on for both of you. I guess that pregnancy may be scary for your daughter if she miscarried previously and her life seems to have recently changed from positivity to many uncertainties and challenges. She is back home. I find that our girls want a lot of nurturing when here. Just this morning Littly was wanting cuddles from me and she is at present on the sofa watching TV but also playing with her baby son. I believe her to have an atypical autistic condition which affects her. I know she is more relaxed when here. Change is always unsettling and you daghter's pregnancy is a major change for you all as a family. Do not feel guilty about reminding her of home responsibilities. It is better that she knows what these are particularly as she is on the autistic spectrum. It is early days and so much happening with housing and money issues ..no wonder you are both fraught. Lily has brought up a lot of good points. It is a continuation of parenting rather than the grandparenting portrayed typically. You may also be able to access help and advice from.www.familyrightsgroup.org.uk Best wishes to you both. Johanna. X