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Hi The general advice is not to plan to do any other work at all as introductions are exhausting.In my experience I found the introductions okay but the next two weeks once our LO came home were the exhausting bit.It's not just getting to know your LOs and meeting their needs but fitting in all the other things like social worker meetings (from your agency and the placing LA), doctor and dentist appointments, health worker visits, possible school arrangements that you have to think of. These meetings can also unsettle your LOs so you may have to deal with the fall out from that. So if you can at all, try not to have any work commitments during this time. x

Hi Tillymint,I'm fully off work so that will be my entire focus but unfortunately DH will have some things he has to do. Luckily he doesn't need much sleep!

As regards the schedule ours was very prescriptivee.g. from x o'clock to y o'clock you will be here doing this etc.It started with an hour on the first day building up to a few full days from 7am to 7pm.Hope that helps.

We are on day 2 of intros. It's totally brilliant but beyond exhausting.Even popping to the loo throws our little man! Being there 100% of the time is key. We are about to start our all day at theirs part of intros, there really is no time for anything else.I would strongly suggest no work related anything until the little one is at least back at yours.Good luck x

Hi, Firstly congratulations on getting so far We will be doing introductions in a few weeks also to a sibling group of 2. The one thing that was requested of us, and took my DH by surprise, was that my DH take 6 weeks off work once they were placed because everyone felt that these two LO's needed total focus from their new mummy and daddy. They had been unsuccessfully placed previously in a situation where the husband was self employed and could not properly support his wife in the first weeks of placement and so it broke down.My DH is the boss at his work so hard for him to stop thinking about work, but the SW's made it clear that we must be prepared to put the children first. What ever you can put in place to make sure your DH's work is covered then do it, so he can focus on the children. I know it seems impossible but I think it's worth doing as otherwise your DH will be distracted. I shall be confiscating my DH's Blackberry during introductions.... !! Good luck .

Congratulations munchkinmum, exciting times.My DH and I are both self-employed. We both took time off for introductions and DH the first few weeks at home (in fact he pared work right down for three months. I was off - full stop). I know it is hard, and there were financial implications too as neither of us, being self employed, received any adoption pay. But it was totally worth doing that.I'm sure you've done this but my DH found it helpful to manage client expectations during this time, by saying that he would be able to return calls, hopefully within 24 hours, but not necessarily be able to pick up at the time. Also that he would generally have very reduced availability, and gave people a clear indication of when he'd be returning to work. In reality we both needed to be totally focussed on the (exhausting!) intros and DH had very little head space, or in fact desire for other stuff once he was immersed in intros. I think he made one or two brief calls and sent one or two emails in the whole time - that's it. I do appreciate when you manage your own business it can be hard to 'disappear' but most people understand the concept of 'paternity leave' and effectively this is what it is. Good luck, hope things go really well for you.

I completely understand where you are coming from, but I also get everyones' response. We were so surprised with how much time we had on our hands during intro's and didn't know what to do with ourselves for the first 4 days. We were staying away from home as intros were about 200 miles away. This was how our intro plan went with a one year old (not our plan - planned by 2 social workers):-Day one - went to house mid morning and stayed for an hour.Day 2 - Went mid morning and left after an hour. Went to have lunch and came back for an hour in the afternoon.Day 3 - stayed 3 hours from 10 - 1. Took LO out in the afternoon with FC. Gave LO tea then left before bathtime.Day 4 - arrived before LO woke up and took LO out on our own in the morning. Had a break when LO had afternoon nap and came back but left before bedtime.Day 5 - Arrived before LO woke up and stayed all day and did bedtime. Drove home.Day 6 - rest dayDays 7 8 and 9 were all at our house and we were main carers with FC gradually limiting contact.I am aware that all introductions are different and that social workers have very different opinions. I think you can guarantee that the first few days will not be that busy and getting busier as the week progresses. Personally we didn't find intro's as exhausting as others but then our LO was quite small and we only had one. Be prepared for anything to happen. Good luck.

The plan for mine was very similar to springchick. I started with an hour the first morning and built up gradually. From day four on it was much more intense. The exhaustion I felt was emotional not physical! I think your DH will probably find the time to make phone calls during the early part of intros, if he is the kind of person who can switch off from all the emotion easily. To help with the process, fill your freezer with stuff cooked in advance that can just be zapped and tell your support network not to phone constantly!

All intros are different as there are lots of factors;-Child's age and needs-Distance to FCs-Other commitments of SWs or FCs -Views of SW on intros (this can vary hugely)My first lot were over 2 weeks, were an hour away from home and were a gradual increase from 1hr visits to full days. Second lot of intros were over 5 days, half an hour from home, full on 10 hour days from day one. For both we only got the plan about a week before intros started so we couldnt plan for anything. I agree that your DH needs to plan to take the whole time off from work. At least if it is planned he can work towards that and let customers know he won't be available. If when you get the plan, or during intros he feels he can pick a little bit of work up then thats fine, but at least he won't feel pressured to do so.

Thanks all for your replies. He wouldn’t have to do too much work during the day. It would just be the odd call or text message so he may be able to do it below the radar (while making a coffee for example??). There are some things that we can do at night time together which would only take an hour or so. I appreciate we may be knackered but I know that my DH won’t be able to relax and enjoy the intros if these things aren’t done – he’d rather be knackered but know that all the plates are spinning.I take your point that this will be easier at the start than at the end so I’ll see if we can phase his work accordingly.Thanks for all your responses.