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Right to information

adoptionp May 8, 2018 22:36
Now that AD has left home and living at the YMCA, she has not provided consent for any agencies to provide any information with regards to her health or recent investigations with regards to concerns raised by us parents, Police inspectors report and Children's services. The YMCA informed she had 8pm curfew, her smartphone is in need of repair and 'she would not be able to use any other phone at the moment'. So we know something had happened, maybe as a result of her association with girl from her school who ran away from home and was found at a registered paedophiles house! So during Easter this girl was staying at the YMCA in her room as a guest, coupled with AD having a smartphone, you can understand our worry! Especially as AD has form in this. Everyone directed us to CS, who today informed us, as she is 16 they need consent from AD to provide any further information. We all know our children are mentally not of the age but are given the same rights. This is extremely frustrating and we are concerned if something serious has happened. Legally, I understand we have PR until she is 18, so in our opinion should have access to this information, but if AD has signed Child in Care papers, do this mean our PR is affected? Many of you seem to know details of what happened after your children have sadly left home, how did you get this? Do I rights to get this information? What were your experiences? Was access forthcoming?
Edited 17/02/2021
Midge May 8, 2018 23:08
16/17 is full of legal anomalies. She will be considered to be competent to make decisions and choices unless PROVEN otherwise. Could you contact somewhere like the children's legal centre or the Family Rights group for proper advice.
Edited 17/02/2021
rhubarbfool May 8, 2018 23:12
From what you say your daughter has asked the LA to make her a looked after child via s20 Children Act 1989 - a young person has to be 16 to do this. This does not remove your pr so she could not get married without your agreement or join the armed forces but having pr does not give parents rights to information. This dates back to 1970s when the Gillick case held that a young person aged 13, providing they have adequate understanding of the issues can stop health, etc sharing information with parents. I think that the Children act says that parents should be consulted re care plan and reviews but if a young person is clear about not wanting detail shared this may mean that only an outline of the plan will be shared with parents. It may be worthwhile contacting the IRO or SW to discuss what can be shared. Perhaps the best way to get information is to try and keep a dialogue open with your daughter through text or even snail mail.
Edited 17/02/2021
Madrid May 9, 2018 01:22
Parental Responsibility under S20 is a joke. We were not involved in the Pathway Planning - or informed about what was covered/discussed as part of it. We were invited to submit parental reports as part of each LAC Review but these were never acknowledged, referred to or acted upon. The whole thing was a total waste of our time. “Encouraging parental involvement “? In a pig’s eye!
Edited 17/02/2021
adoptionp May 16, 2018 23:19
An update, Last Thursday, I spoke to our solicitor who kindly dropped a note to the LA solicitor, the message was quite simply, in the best interest of AD, long term and the immediate to provide support we should know, especially as it was us who raised these concerns. The CYPS Manager rang me and informed, even though she was going against our AD wishes, she felt she could reveal information. As per my intuition, they raised concerns AD had been associating herself with highly manipulative gang members, who know exactly what they were doing and vulnerable AD was drawn to them like a moth to light, regardless of all providing advice. The LA gave her an ultimatum to improve within a month the Fri before Bank Holiday, and AD that weekend decided to go missing not returning the Sat night (which involved a Police search), and then went missing during the next day. The LA then decided to find her supported lodgings and moved her this Monday, this against AD wishes but at least away from the YMCA, other side of town and also providing transport to and from school for AD to sit her GCSEs. AD is very angry with me (I have not let know that I know), has swore at me many times when she has eventually answered on her LA provided traceable non-smartphone and threatened to ' do me over' for controlling her even she does not live under our roof. She is clearly angry at me, but I do not care about this, as I have done my duty as a parent. One thing that I have learnt is that her behaviour at me is just an extreme tantrum and I continually inform her via text we are there for her and we are thinking of her. As she settles in to her temporary accommodation, as it was sold to her, (or hopefully long term), she will need to adjust but we know she will not be mixing with troubled teens peer group and we hope she will calm down and focus on sitting her GCSEs.
Edited 17/02/2021
pluto May 17, 2018 13:06
Oke, does 'do me over' mean she is threatening to kill you basically? She swears at you on her mobile? Why do you still want to have telephone contact with her? Refuse and use emailor text or what'app, if she than swears it's black on white. You can do everything you do now by email, make appointments to meet her, organise stuff, etc. But it's more difficult to abuse you, or threaten you. I would by the way not let her get away with a death tread if that's what it means, maybe I'm wrong there. Don't give her any money or stuff and tell her why!
Edited 17/02/2021
pluto May 17, 2018 13:27
Not so severe............. 'do someone over' beat someone up. "let's do them over and dump them somewhere" synonyms: beat up, assault, attack, mug, batter, thrash, pummel, pound; informalknock about/around, work over, clobber, rough up, fill in, beat the living daylights out of, let someone have it; informalhave a go at, duff someone up; informalbeat up on "some men had been sent to do him over" Still this sort of threads should not be take silently and swallowed, you are not helping her by letting her say these verbal threads to you. (prevention or they are 6 or 16! I know that society might think of those kids as adults but we know better) That she feels horrible about herself does not mean that you have to accept that she tries to pull you down as well in her emotional mess. Wishing you strenght to deal with the problems.
Edited 17/02/2021
adoptionp May 26, 2018 23:44
Another update, after a very frustrating day! Spoke with AD last Friday weekend, where she was 'honest' in her words in telling me she has got a sexually transmitted disease after being passed around three gang members, with the mother of one of the gang members child after her, and also two other teenage girls (who were also passed around) had beaten her up. She seemed much calmer as she had gone into foster care mode, being the LAC. Today I spoke to her and asked if she would like to see us this weekend, where she was continually asking her new carer what to say, with both unsure of if she could actually meet us this weekend, with the new carer speaking for AD (being her advocate), and telling me what I can say and do! Saying AD does not want to visit home and dictating we are to go out for the day only! Even though when we met at Easter AD wanted to come over and stay over! Then there was confusion over AD meeting us at bus stop and now being told it will cafe, when asked why, AD put phone down. She was clearly getting directed. Can the LA SW not give clear and simple guidance? Then being told new carer has information. This annoyed me, as it felt like 2016 again with how we parents were treated during court case. After speaking to duty SW three times today and getting them three times to clarify to new carer the massive impact new carer would have on our relationship and attachment with AD the message eventually sunk in 5 hrs later today and AD sent text this evening (clearly written by carer) informing she would 'love to see us', which we are tomorrow for a few hours. No doubt AD has lapped all the negative attention this has caused even though she now knows it is not the same situation. No court case and no care order. She revells in this. I had to make clear several times, AD needs to contact us and only us to make arrangements and stop using and getting adults to communicate to us. Quite frankly am I in the mood to see her tomorrow? Not really, I question why I am bothering because she really does not care about seeing us and I am not going through 2016 again! Why do I feel I am the only one making the effort and continually educating the LA about attachment, just so I maintain a relationship with AD! And after what AD told me about her antics at the YMCA, as a family we are still getting over the shock of it and wondering if we can see AD in the same light as when she left us. Sorry, I need to vent.
Edited 17/02/2021

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