Edited 17/02/2021
Still Very open to age range ... Is this normal?
Annie99
December 1, 2013 19:37
Hello. I have almost finished home study, have a provisional date for panel, ( 2 months time) so fingers crossed, pretty much getting there - which is very exciting! However, I am really struggling to give a firm indication of a preferred age range, and still feel in a quandary. Most of my friends have children ranging anything from 1 yr up to 8 yrs old ... hence my dilemma. I can genuinely see lots of positives in all of the ages, and as a single adopter had originally thought older 6/7. More recently though, I have been thinking younger 3/4 and most of my friends are encouraging me to consider younger too. As a single adopter, I would be very interested to learn from others who have successfully adopted how you decided on the age range, and what sort of age range did you originally get approved for. Was it close to what you got matched to? When I look through the children who wait, again, I am really drawn to a wide age range, and wonder if everyone else was really clear from the start as I feel confused and wonder if this close to panel whether I should be clearer and driving the range... . Or.. Is it better to stay open and hope for approval of a wide range? Any thoughts would be gratefully received! :) thank you.
skylt
December 1, 2013 21:45
Hi Annie99, It's a real dilemma isn't it :) I'll be interested in the opinions on this too. I had trouble narrowing down age and deciding which of the tick list of issues I could and couldn't deal with. For me it was more important to consider the child as a whole, I (naively?) see them as a sum of their parts rather than a specific issue or age. Anyway, I was eventually approved for either a boy or a girl aged between 3 and 10! I struggled to consider some older children while others I had no problems with and made enquiries across the whole age range. I am in the process of being matched with an almost 6-year old little boy, so pretty much in the middle. I think you just have to trust your own judgement and if you honestly feel that you could parent a 3-year old or an 8-year old then stick with it, but be prepared to explain why. Good luck. Sky
Edited 17/02/2021
kstar
December 1, 2013 21:52
To be brutally honest, I think one of my main considerations was childcare... So I always knew I would be looking at 3+ because I couldn't have coped financially with having to pay for full day care for a younger child. I also knew I wasn't bothered about missing the baby phase, and to be it made sense to have a child who could verbalise their own feelings and experiences.
Edited 17/02/2021
Serrakunda
December 1, 2013 22:25
Like Kstar a main consideration was childcare. Childcare is very expensive, its bad enough trying to cover school holidays. But also I really didnt want a baby, I could do without the nappy, potty training and teething stages. I am a bit older - 48- none of my friends have very young children so it made more sense to have a child nearer the same age. A really important consideration though is that although with any adoptive child you have to accept uncertainty, many issues dont manifest themselves until the school age years, you have more chance of knowing about diagnosis etc if they are older . Also there are so many older children out who are overlooked. My son was just shy of 8 when he came home, he had moderate learning difficulties and autism but is a wonderful child, we have a fairly normal life, his prospects are good, he deserved a mummy and a a chance of a good life as much as any of the younger ones.
Edited 17/02/2021
Annie99
December 2, 2013 19:26
Thank you so much for your replies, they definitely makes sense. I am also 48 and wholeheartedly agree that every child deserves a family, and in some ways perhaps I am subconsciously thinking that when I read some of the profiles of the older ones. I don't need the baby stage either, never have felt that so my starting point has always been around 3 ish. I am delighted to hear that you can be approved for such a wide range, that really pleases me, I didn't realise that it could be that wide, so thats Great news !
Edited 17/02/2021
shadow
December 4, 2013 11:20
I was approved for 0-8 years - but told as a single adopter would be very unlikely to be considered for a pre school age child as couples are preferred for younger
Edited 17/02/2021
WelshPolyglot
December 12, 2013 21:28
I initially stated school age for many of the reasons above but mainly the childcare costs. And completely agree that older children are being overlooked. However my SW has asked me if I'd consider a younger child/ children if the LA agreed to a fixed term of financial help towards this. So am being recommended for 2-5 years, or possibly younger.
Edited 17/02/2021
WelshPolyglot
December 12, 2013 21:28
I initially stated school age for many of the reasons above but mainly the childcare costs. And completely agree that older children are being overlooked. However my SW has asked me if I'd consider a younger child/ children if the LA agreed to a fixed term of financial help towards this. So am being recommended for 2-5 years, or possibly younger.
Edited 17/02/2021
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