Edited 17/02/2021
When yours are adopted and their siblings are not :-(
tulips
October 3, 2013 10:55
Hello, We had our celebration hearing yesterday. It was truly wonderful! Ours boys are 13 and 10 and have been with us for four years. They have two siblings one who is in between their ages and one who is a year younger than our youngest. They are now separated and in long term foster care. Our two have been so sad and not really sure why they are adopted and their much loved siblings are not. It is so hard and we feel they are not really getting their answers that they need but how can this be explained? We have emailed the social workers and tried to talk them through it but we are not sure how best we can help them with this. There are no easy answers. All four were in foster care together and they have been asking if we can adopt them? This by the way is not an option. Are any of you in similar positions? How did you/do you help yours deal with thi? It seems the happier and more settled ours are the more it shows them what their siblings do not have. We have a good relationship with the foster carers and so we though we'd ask them about this too (as sensitively as we can). thanks for reading. tulips
bluelizard
October 3, 2013 12:35
I've sent a PM.
Edited 17/02/2021
pingu123
October 6, 2013 15:58
A really difficult one that. Our ds1 has several adopted siblings, one in long term foster care and one ( the baby) whom sw felt the birth mother could manage with support. The split up tears him apart sometimes, especially as the one on foster care could easily have been adopted by us, but " the plan for long term foster care had been made and couldn't be changed once made" !!!! We try to meet the siblings as much as possible and ds1 knows we will help his FC sibling as much as we can, that's all we can do. There are no easy answers, and he knows that, sometimes things don't work out as we would like and we just have to do the best possible short of that ideal. Just say as much to the kids, they will understand that eventually.
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Willow637
October 6, 2013 21:53
similar here, my LO 's sister remained in the same FC care. She is older and is still in contact with their birth mum. Really struggle to explain it in a way that makes any sense, and boy he still misses her. I will follow this thread with interest x
Edited 17/02/2021
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