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You will be grilled over all sorts of things like you never imagined Make sure you really do understand where the children come from and the impact of trauma. As a singly, they will have a particular focus on your support netrwork For yourself, make sure you have your finances sorted out and you know how you are going to support yourself and a child, particularly during adoption leave, and think very seriously about your working arrangements. Good luck

Hi, Just to echo Serrakunda's point about support networks - I've heard of couples being asked for just two or three referees between them. My social worker interviewed three family members and three friends and got references from 2 further friends, my employer and my fostering agency. They also spoke to my ex, but that's standard. . The other thing I found striking about the process was agencies' ability to make connections between things I didn't consider to be in any way comparable: . My VA was initially concerned that my failure to tell family members about a medical procedure (to spare their feelings) might indicate a similar reluctance to be open with a child about its background. . A different agency extrapolated that I would have no time for a child from my refusal to be available to them at any hour of the day. This was at the initial interview stage - I teach and didn't really want to be leaving the classroom in the middle of the day just for the convenience of social workers who might never (and didn't!)accept my application. . So be prepared for some strange extrapolations! . Also, if there's anything that might come up through your references or medical, be sure you tell the agency first - they all (understandably) take a very dim view of anything that looks like a lack of openness or honesty. . There's loads more, but I'll shut up now! . Good luck.

Thanks for the detail - seems like I will need to get my ducks in a row, though no amount of alarm bells has put me off yet!

Hey I went there in December last year! ;) A lovely and inspiring lady (head of the borough's adoption services) did the presentation on her own. Am also single in my forties. What went against me was definitely the support network issue: one LA was entirely dismissive without looking further, while another one requested a support network meeting at short notice and was pleasantly shocked at how many people turned up (though we all agree that it's quality, not quantity, that matters here). After struggling to verbally explain my network to LAs over the phone, I ended up making a map of who lives where and could help with what and in different situations. Being single also means that finance and health issues can be harder to deal with. Again, I struggled to verbally explain my financial situation, therefore did a budget forecast for the short and long terms, emergency plan etc. For health, I visited my GP to discuss my adoption plan etc. A big barrier was social workers themselves and their LA's unofficial policies. Wasted six months waiting on a LA who finally rejected me on various grounds (see above) while, in reality, they didn't like taking singlies on. I'm not making this up, it happens and although it's unethical there is nothing one can do to persuade them that a single adopter can do as well as a couple. I had been warned they weren't pro-singles, their experience had been bad (singlies needing more post-adoption support for instance) and they blankly told me that they were always reluctant to recruit them. You can go round this issue by asking your LA how many singles they recruit each year etc. But, if you're really serious about adoption, you will find sympathetic LAs ready to take you on. Hope it goes well!

Ah, I forgot to mention childcare experience! I did various voluntary placements over a one-year period to compensate for my lack of experience... Loved it actually and still doing some!

Hi aquarelle Thanks for the input - were you ultimately successful?

I've sent you a pm.

Hi Plimsoll, I thought I would drop you a line, as like you I'm a 40 something Londoner just starting out on the process as a single adopter. I'm also writing a blog to try & share as much as I can as I go through the process, to help others as well as to remind me of the journey. Anyway, like others have mentioned, the 2 areas that my SW has focused on to date are my support network & experience, & not just playing with children, they are keen for me to demonstrate times when I've taken full care of children eg. sleepovers etc, if possible.

Agencies may screen-out or screen-in potential adopters according to the profile of children that they are needing to place. For example they may be urgently needing adopters prepared to take on children with special needs or school-aged children. I would ask about their children and think around whether there's a likely match for you.