Edited 17/02/2021
Fostering after Adopting - has anyone done this?
almond
October 5, 2012 13:19
I am aware that many people go on to adopt after being foster carers but I just wondered if anyone had done it the other way round?We have a birth daughter aged 12 now and an AS who is 7 and has been with us 3 years. We have had a tough time with him in that it took a long time for us to attach to each other and he has a number of medical, emotional and physical difficulties. However, we are definately seeing light at the end of the tunnel in relation to our relationship and I cannot imagine life without him now. He still does need additional support daily to some degree especially with school work and we do have a number of health appts etc to attend.However, my job is currently under review and there is a small chance that I may be offerred voluntary redundancy around the summer of next year. Due to length of service etc I would receive around 3 years salary so enough to give me some breathing space as to what I wanted to do next. One of the options my DH and I have discussed is fostering. We have not broached our agency or anything as yet as we are really just mulling this over. I am very lucky in that DH is at home a lot of the time as he works shifts and we would most definately being going into this as a team rather than just me being the main carer although that would really be my role.I do need to earn an income and felt that perhaps fostering would be an option for us to put what we have learnt over the last few years to good use and to be able to help other children even in the short term.Our BD took to our AS from the minute they met, she if very good and patient with younger children and I have no real concerns that she would suffer in anyway if we decided to do this. In fact when we mentioned it she was incredibly excited.I realise that this is going to give me less time to meet AS needs but between me and DH feel reasonably confident that he could benefit as well provided he is constantly reassured that he is with us permanently.Anyway just wondered what people thought or if anyone had done this and how it had worked out for them?Thanks for reading. x
loadsofbubs
October 5, 2012 15:17
I kind of did, well did, but also did the fostering first as well! I did respite for some years, then 'short term' pre adoption placement with AS, adoption fell through and i adopted him, then returned to respite a few years later and now do mainstream foster care (babies). started assessment for that when AS was 12 ish (almost 19 now). It is very possible and something i know that several adopters have done but you'd need to be very sure of your AS's ability to cope with teh loss of foster childrne when they move on (small bubs has not coped well with this aspect of fostering in her life) and it would need some deep thought and discussion with yourself and your assessing sw. my AS had some difficulties when younger but was able to manage with fostering, his difficulties weren't around loss particularly but other things.
Edited 17/02/2021
JaneJJ
October 17, 2012 11:26
We hoping to just be starting the process shortly after adopting twice. Our youngest dd is still very young but have been assured that this isnt a problem xxx
Edited 17/02/2021
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