Edited 17/02/2021
Moving on
Haitch
September 13, 2013 16:15
Hi all, Firstly we just wanted to drop by and say a huge thank you to you all for sharing your words of wisdom and support. The advice we have been given from members of this board has helped us immensely and we are now a lot stronger, wiser and more able to cope with the ups and downs than we ever were before. For the past two months AS1 has been sleeping rough, heavily drinking, using and gambling. He has lost his job, his friends and is heavily in debt. He spends his days begging for money, food and drink. He makes suicidal threats, doesn't bother to go to counselling, doctors or employment appointments. Fails to attend food bank or homeless shelter.His clothes are dirty, he smells awful and has lost weight. He has been arrested for shop lifting and cautioned for using violent and threatening behaviour in a public place.....like AS1 says "his life, his choice, his mistakes - none of our business". We on the other hand are doing amazingly well. AS2 returned to college and is really enjoying his course, he has a beautiful girlfriend who fits so well in our family unit and its a pleasure to spend time with them both. We have had lots of fun family times, Mr H and I have enjoyed a holiday in the sunshine and I even managed a few days away on my own visiting family overseas. For the first time, in what feels like forever, we are actually living and enjoying life. We haven't cut AS1 from our lives, we just stepped back, toughened up and said no more. This is his journey, not ours, and we stepped off his ride. AS1 came to see us on Monday and asked us to help. The only help we offered was the use of a phone to make a call to rehab. He called, attended an interview the following day and heard yesterday he has been accepted. Plans have been made for him to attend for 12 months from Tuesday of next week - we aren't holding our breath because his track record of "walking the walk" isn't so good these days :/ We shall wait and see...... Mr&MrsHaitch
mayan49
September 13, 2013 17:23
Glad to hear you are still standing and as you say moving on. It is hard to stay connected despite his choices and lifestyle and in the quiet moments it takes its toll - but it is good that you have so many positives to ground you all with your as2 and long may that bring you joy. As for as1 perhaps he still has some things to work through but however lost he may be at times - you all remain his polestar. Look after yourself Mx
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homerton
September 13, 2013 22:56
Gentle hugs
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lilyofthevalley
September 13, 2013 23:36
Thank you for letting us know how you are getting on. Well done for staying strong, taking the tough but necessary decisions , still being there for AS1 but not allowing him to ruin your lives too, seeing AS2 flourish and allowing yourselves to still get enjoyment from life. Tough love is very hard but it is sometimes necessary. I hope that AS1 will take advantage of his opportunity for rehab. No one else can live his life for him. He has to make his own choices and live with the consequences. I hope things go well for you all. Lily x
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nancydanfan
September 15, 2013 00:17
I am so pleased for both of you that you are picking up your lives and moving on.
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aprilshowers
September 15, 2013 20:37
gentle hugs..it is so easy for them to talk the talk but to walk the walk is another thing..hope for all your sakes he can to do the walk...keep enjoying the good things in your lives.
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shadow
September 15, 2013 20:41
fingers crossed here
Edited 17/02/2021
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