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A challenging medical assessment
Big daddy
November 18, 2012 20:23
Hello, We are on the adoption process, and have recently recieved our medical assessment which is recommending to the agency a "no" to adoption. An official decision has not been made yet. My wife is diabetic, & does have an imparied kidney function. However, she is actually pretty healthy in a general sense, her function is stable, & she works full time, with no mobilty issues at present, but, sometime in the distant future, perhaps in the next 10 or more years?? its possible that she COULD be on diaylsis. So whilst neither of us are disabled, my wife could be in the distant furure & this seems to be the reason that our LA is considering turning us down.I can not described how deeply frustrated and upset we feel. But I also get the sense from reading these boards that we are perhaps not being treated with the same consistancy as others? & im wondering if thats a question of Agency? Are we being treated harshly? im just trying to get a gage on things, and really appreciated anyone who is prepared to share their experience. Maybe im a bit naive to the whole affair, im reading a lot of posts from people that seem to be saying that you are better off going with a volunatary agency but im not really sure what leads people to that opinion?We are decent loving people that just want a chance, so would really value your advice and prayers. God bless
sooz
November 18, 2012 20:51
Hi thereSorry to hear your news.I am a disabled adopter, my mobility is affected but it won't get worse.I guess their concern is A. Whether you will both be around long term (in as much as any of us can guarantee that) and B. if your wife does need dialysis in the future how that will affect your (and any child's) ability to cope.With us, my dh said he would remain working locally, so could be home in 20 minutes if I needed him for whatever reason, and financially if ever he had to give up work we would be able to downsize and be mortgage free.Neither scenario has ever cropped up, and in fact I am now single so all that reassurance is out the window anyway.It may be worth looking at worse case scenarios and coming up with plans to cover any eventuality linked to your wife's medical issues.All they will really be concerned with is a child/children's future and making it as stable as possible. That's all. Keep at it, don't give up xx
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Big daddy
November 18, 2012 21:03
Hi, thanks for your response.We are going to have a face to face meeting with them, to see if there is anything that can be done. Perhaps adopting an older child or fostering.
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Pear Tree
November 21, 2012 12:15
Hope your meeting goes ok I have a disabling condition that is progressive but was steady at time of approvalI'd let Martin narey know of your case.If you message the CEO of adoption uk, he has Martins email address
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Rangoli
November 22, 2012 11:55
Hello Big Daddy, I would suggest you approach the IRM - independent review mechanism. They will look at cases where people have been turned down by local authorities. You can also speak with them infomrally and they will tell in what way they could help you. Since this is a problem which will certainly keep recurring with the agency you have chosen and crop up with other agencies it may be worth getting sorted once and for all. The feedback from applicants seems to be mostly positive and it is something to consider.please feed it back to the department of educations as well via the feedback form , (see my earlier post) and to Martin Narey as well ( google his website)
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Big daddy
November 24, 2012 18:47
Thank you both for the advice, always Appreciated.
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