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About to adopt again
twothreefour
October 16, 2013 21:50
Advice needed please. We adopted our Lad nearly two and a half years ago. He is settled, happy, doing well in school and managing his behaviour and emotions much more appropriately... Mostly! We are about to add to our family with another, much younger child. Not sure of the timescale yet. Could be a month or so, or possibly longer... Adoption never seems to run smoothly. He knows we are approved and going to adopt again and at the moment is excited and happy about it. He is not aware yet of the timescale. We will only tell him once we have been to panel. We know that things will become tough for a while. I have posted here because I would like to know about others experiences of adding an adopted child where there is already a child in the family. How have you helped your excisting child? What behaviours have you encountered? What was hard? Any surprises? What helped? How did you help the bond between them? Etc. Any advice will be gratefully received! Thanks.
twothreefour
October 19, 2013 10:43
Thanks for responding pingu. It's good to know that someone has been through something similar. Didn't realise it was not that common to adopt again. I may be asking for more advice in the near future. The age gap is going to be 5 years, and hope that it will work out for us all. Will try to get hold of the booklet you suggested. We know that it's going to be tough!
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Donatella
October 19, 2013 11:44
I've adopted three times! Does that make me mad??
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twothreefour
October 19, 2013 12:20
Probably!! ;-) , although you must've covered it up well!!
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starlet
October 24, 2013 21:37
We have 3 BC'S, 1 AC and on the way to getting a new one...so I too would be interested in the replies. Our lo is too young to understand the impact of a new baby so we are trying to find ways of making it easier. The only thing I can say was when we went through our first adoption, my youngest then 9 had some issues where he pulled his hair out and got really upset all because he couldn't imagine our AC not having a nice family before us. So we really had to sit him down and explain that AC was fine. It had never occurred to him that some families couldn't look after their children. So even when you think they understand you really need to talk ALOT!! The older kids think that AC screams/ shouts too much, it took them a while to get used to having a younger child in the house :)
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twothreefour
December 14, 2013 21:02
Well, we have adopted again.... Early days. Mostly going well. Bedtimes are the toughest! They both want me! Trying to pass some of the roles on to my husband. Lad had regressed, that's ok. We are going with it. He is loving and she adores him! We praise him at every opportunity and people are making a fuss of him, as well as the Lass. The large age gap helps. Completely different needs. He can read bedtime stories and helps to brush her teeth! To prepare, he helped with taking photos, we got him a big brother badge and card and he helped to choose a toy. He is proud to be a big brother. It was very tough in the lead up to intros, he wanted to be involved, but wasn't until a few days in. As always its the thought of a change, rather than the reality the Lad finds hardest.
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Vegpatch
December 14, 2013 23:27
We're (hopefully) going to adopt number 3 just after Xmas, - 1&2 were placed with us 2 yrs ago. So not had the experience of 2nd time adoption just yet, but wanted to let you know that there are others out there who are going through the process. Good luck !! Xx
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