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I would say something like: every child has a birth mummy and a birth daddy. They have a very special cuddle. Then the baby grows in the birth mummy's tummy. Most children know who their birth mummy and birth daddy are, but some children don't. Most children want to know who their birth mummy and birth daddy are. Those who don't know can sometimes feel angry or sad about not knowing. That is normal.

That would be the short version. I would have more answers ready though, in case your son asks you for details. I would always emphasize that it is not uncommon to not know who your father is or to have very limited knowledge and that it is not his fault and there was nothing wrong with him.

We knew hardly anything about the birth dad of my daughter and for years also did not have a picture. We wrote: "He was a very special person, because he gave X a very special gift. It's so special that no one else can ever give it to her, and it can be given to her only once. X's birth dad - together with "name birth mum" - gave X the gift of life. When X looks into the mirror, she can see a bit of him in herself. Maybe it is her cheeky smile? Maybe it is her great sense of humor? Or maybe he was very good at racing?" I found the "special gift" bit somewhere and thought it might work well, because it is so positive. My daughter would sometimes study herself in the mirror and was frustrated that she did not know which bits came from him, but she definitely found it comforting that she got this very special gift from her birth dad.

Ours is just short, simple and factual. It says something like:

"My birth mum's name is Susan. We do not know the name of my birth dad."

Sorry, I misread your post and thought you were looking for an explanation for a 6-7 year old. For a 2 year old (and in fact many older children) Lettice’s version is great. Our kids always wanted to know all the details and constantly wanted to talk about it, so our life story books are quite wordy.

I think yours is a lovely explantation Chestnuttree - though I’d probably have gone for something simpler myself - as you say depends on the children and can change with age etc

Lettice - thanks, that's a nice simple way to put it. I think I like saying we don't know his name more than that we don't know who he is.

Chestnut - thanks, those are some really useful things to use with him when he's older.