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I have no idea if anything will help but I can try!I was approved in early March and heard nothing until October. My SW kept fobbing me off or so it felt. Later it turned out she had a very specific child in mind for me but the placement order had been held up and she wasn't allowed to say anything. Goodness me was she worth the wait! I couldn't have found a more perfect match. As someone said to me at the time, those months really do feel insignificant later on compared to a lifetime with the right child!

HelloWe were approved end of May this year. We also have a bc of 5yrs old. We have looked at 6 profiles and a few CPRs but have decided not to proceed. We did go to an activity day which was brilliant. There was a Lo there we were very drawn to but a different family was chosen over us. Initially we were frustrated but in retrospect we were thinking with our hearts and not our heads so it was the right decision.My sw has just been to see us and no profiles on the horizon :-( We have choosen not to go on the national register for the time being because we don't want intros to be miles away and really value our La input. Maybe if nothing happens in the next 6 months we will rethink that. It is frustrating but Im sure your 4 year old is keeping you busy. We are using this time enjoying being a family of 3 and the relative ease of it! It gives us more time to do more preparation with bc aswell so the time is being put to good use. It seems to be that the bigger the age gap between ac and bc the better so again a bit of a wait could be a good thing in the long run. Has your Sw been intouch keeping you updated? If not maybe you could send them a quick email asking for an update or even a face to face meeting. There may be stuff going on in the background you are not aware of?Good luck. I hope you hear something soon. Wig. Xx

Thanks so much for responding, I think both of you are proof that it's worth waiting for the right child even if it takes a little longer. I send our SW the odd email and she has promised that something will happen soon so hopefully she has a little one in mind like Kstar, I also admire you wig for standing your ground and not just going with the first potential match, I feel that sometimes people expect that just because your adopting you should be willing to take on any child...Kstar-it makes me so happy to read that you're having such a wonderful time with your little girl and I agree that the months of waiting will seem insignificant in the end.Wig-I think it's maybe easier when you already have a little one to be distracted by, it's difficult for them to understand that their little brother or sister won't just turn up tomorrow, our son is VERY excited but it's hard to keep fobbing him off.Anyway, hopefully I'll be posting good news soon (I'll keep my fingers crossed for you too Wig).Mimi xxx

Hi there,I totally understand how you feel, despite the trials and tribulations of our journey - the time between post approval and pre linking was defo the most frustrating for us!We were approved via a VA and so our family finding process was very much owned by us (and to be honest we were glad, it was the only time we felt we had some "control" in our process). That said, Family Finding was a big job and we devoted hours & hours each week to it. We made our own profile / flyer, joined BMP, CWW and attended every exchange day and event we could an invite to! We also went to an Activity Day, we made all of our enquiries ourselves and chased up all potential links - so we tried our best to keep busy, maybe some of these things would help?!We were approved in April, found our Little Bear's profile at an exchange event in July (due to another potential link that later fell through) we had Little Bear's SW and FF visit in Sept, got the go ahead the next day, met with the Paeds Consultant and had pre planning meeting SW's and Mgr in Oct along with meeting FC, went to Matching Panel in Nov, started intro's a few days later and Little Bear moved in after 6 days of intro's So for us, once linked things moved very quickly which was fab! It was such a hard time, but for us keeping busy with enquiries etc helped - a little bit! Good luck, hope it happens for you soon xx