Edited 17/02/2021
Life is just bizarre.
Ma
July 26, 2013 12:48
My son''s BM was just 13 when she had him. Conceived at 12!!!! I know. Crazy. She has had a very hard life. Now has 3 more children that she has kept, and they are doing well. She has grown into a lovely young woman, with a heart of gold. My AS traced her on FB when he was 14. The reunion was too emotional to express, but they have had a relationship of sorts since. Recently i find that he has been telling her all sorts about me, and that I chucked him out for no reason, and made him homeless, and more. I have been very careful about telling her much about my AS''s antics which are extreme, really extreme. But I decided yesterday to call her, and chat, and let her know some of the truth. Part of this is to see if she can help him atall. He presents a totally rosy picture of himself to her, and as with me only really wants her for money. She was amazing to talk to. She fully understood. She showed me total respect. I even told her she was a grandma of a 7 month old baby, at the age of 32!!! Wow. She cried at the fact that her son had not told her this. She added me on FB so that she could see the pictures. TBH I now feel that i have another support in terms of helping my AS try and get the help he needs, and help he must get if he is going to have any life at all. But its a rather peculiar triangle!!!After that conversation I get a call from my AS''s girlfriend to tell me that he has been sending her very threatening texts since she left him, due to violence. She is very scared and wants to go to the police. I dont blame her. I then have to tell her mum, as she wont, and she is only 17!! Another peculiar triangle.....or is that a square????And so it goes on. Isnt life bizarre??
aprilshowers
July 26, 2013 12:55
Life on planet adoption comes I all shapes and sizes....triangles, squares circles and most importantly the cycle shape...that I am afraid is what a lot of our children aim for.So pleased to hear that you are able to maintain relationships with thes two other important people I your AS life, which my AS ex would engage with us, even if to let us know how our grandchild is doing.
Edited 17/02/2021
Ma
July 26, 2013 13:41
Yes, many shapes on planet adoption. Actually the baby is in another triangle, square, hexagon......not his girlfirend's.....a one night stand, whilst he was with said girlfriend. But baby is delightful and the best thing to have come from this hideous mess. And her mum is doing really really well, and lovely to me. In fact, just off to pick her up for the afternoon.
Edited 17/02/2021
Pear Tree
July 26, 2013 14:24
I just think the grace and humility shown on all sides of motherhood for your clearly troubled son is moving.He's got these dark aspects to his character it seems and he's very needy clearly.It's important to keep in contact and hold all these aspects of his being together if think.That's what they say for us and the network looking after of blossom with her complex needs and the emerging personality disorder most of all.Trying not to get dragged into the mess is tough
Edited 17/02/2021
Ma
July 26, 2013 14:53
Thank you PT. I totally agree. My AS has so much love, and so many emotionally intelligent people all around him. He just cant see it, or engulf it, or use it. Just kicks it away. Really sad. I too think he has a personality disorder, but because he is now 18, I cannot get any help for him....only he can for himself. And that is just not happening. x
Edited 17/02/2021
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