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Have you considered adopting an older child? Adoption of an older child or children can be a wonderful new opportunity for both you and the child. In your forties, particularly late forties, an older child would be far more likely. I adopted a ten year old and a five year old. Even 4yrs is considered ‘older’ by some agencies. These little ones deserve and need families just as much as the tinies. You’ll find the approval process takes time – your partner will need to be in the UK long enough to be considered (by social workers) fully settled and with a fully developed support network. But it may be worth approaching agencies – they will almost certainly tell you to wait, but at least you will have expressed an interest and will have an opportunity to show your commitment by waiting and reapplying. Good luck with making your decision for adoption - it’s a difficult path to choose. Have you done any reading about adoption issues or know any adoptive families?

if you want to adopt together in the UK will need to have been living together here long enough to show you are committed to each other and any future child. SW will be looking for stability amongst other things. This will give you time to settle as a couple living here and explore if you both are certain you want to adopt and to do some research on modern adoption. Adopting is a huge commitment and very different from having a birth child because of what these children have been through, even babies. I and my hubby adopted our first older child, a just turned 10 yr old , when I was 50 and hubby was 52. Our second child came just before he turned seven, two years later. It has been hard work and very stressful at times. We have had to learn to be very flexible and adjust our expectations, and it was harder work than we would have imagined. But we have also been very blessed by them both. We first applied to an agency in our mid forties but had to wait for various reasons and we're finally approve at 48 and 50, waiting a further two years for our first placement. Sometimes we thought it would never happen, and I think our willingness to be flexible on age went a long way to help us get started. Best Wishes Pingu

Having adopted older children 10 years ago, when we were similar ages to yourselves, I'd say count your blessings and enjoy life without children xx

I wasn't sure if by 'elder ' you meant older adopters or older children. I was 47 when my son came home so probably fall into the older adopter group, My son was most definitely older as he was nearly 8. Its worked for us, he will be 14 soon, we have had some tough times but come through. I'm sure there will be more tough times ahead but we are a strong team together and we will get through them. Adoption is a gamble, many of us have good outcomes, some of us very sadly for everyone involved, don't. You both need to be committed and want to adopt. One of you can't decide to go along with it for the other, you have to both be prepared to take the gamble. About a third of adoptions experience significant problems, about a third get along ok. I'm in the middle third, we have ups and downs, the downs can be very hard, but we bumble along and get through, a bit greyer, a bit more tired, in my case a few stone heavier(!) but we get through it. I have an amazing son. Do your research, learn why children are in care, and what the long term impacts are and weigh it up.

We adopted at later age both in our 40s. We adopted babies and it has been a long hard journey and for us instead of getting better it is getting worse. We wish we hadn't become parents and enjoyed our freedom and life.As we are very tired and just a bit old for it all. Being a parent isn't everything in life. However we have experience love and joy , we love our children and have had lots of beautiful experiences. We hope it will get easier as they get older , but unfortunately we are seeing genetic issues from their respective birth families surfacing and can't see a positive and easy,fun future. It is going to be a hard slog forever and that is why we wish we hadn't become parents. We do get rewards , but for us it's not worth it. Maybe in the long run it will be we will plough on and do our best, but we were hoping for more in life than this. We didn't believe that we could end up in this situation and were totally Naive.

We adopted at later age both in our 40s. We adopted babies and it has been a long hard journey and for us instead of getting better it is getting worse. We wish we hadn't become parents and enjoyed our freedom and life.As we are very tired and just a bit old for it all. Being a parent isn't everything in life. However we have experience love and joy , we love our children and have had lots of beautiful experiences. We hope it will get easier as they get older , but unfortunately we are seeing genetic issues from their respective birth families surfacing and can't see a positive and easy,fun future. It is going to be a hard slog forever and that is why we wish we hadn't become parents. We do get rewards , but for us it's not worth it. Maybe in the long run it will be we will plough on and do our best, but we were hoping for more in life than this. We didn't believe that we could end up in this situation and were totally Naive.

We are older adopters. We have birth children ( 28, 26, 19 ) a long term foster child aged 12 and a 4 yr old adopted son . We are mid 50s. No regrets at all so far .