Archived Forums

View latest posts View active forum

Overturning an SGO

Tina238 September 26, 2018 12:57
Hi I hope you can help me. In December 2017, my son Oliver who is now 19 months old was given to the care of my Mum and Step Dad in Ireland under an SGO order due to my mental health as I suffered a bipolar manic episode, being homeless and in an abusive relationship with Oliver's father. My circumstances have drastically improved and I am now in a position that I want my son back in my care. I am no longer under mental health services, I have a full time job and I am in a committed long term relationship with my partner David. I wondered what the likelihood was of having a successful outcome and whether the court would see my changes as significant enough to overturn the SGO that is in place. The relationship between myself and my mother has turned very sour as she says Oliver is hers now and I have no right to contest. On several occasions she has threatened to cancel contact between me and Oliver. The whole thing is causing a lot of stress and I just want my son to be back with me as I feel I am able to give him long term stability and a loving family environment. My mother's concerns are that I have a relapse. I have explained that even it that was to occur (however it is unlikely according to my doctors) that I have enough support in place - i.e my partner and close friends around me that I would not relapse fully before I was given the right support from mental health services so this would not affect Oliver in any way. I want to take this to court as soon as possible as I want to provide permanency for my son before he becomes to settled where he is. Any advice on this would be so appreciated. Thanks Tina
Edited 17/02/2021
pluto September 26, 2018 13:27
http://childprotectionresource.online/applying-to-discharge-or-vary-a-special-guardianship-order/
Edited 17/02/2021
Serrakunda September 26, 2018 13:44
I'm sorry I have no advice to offer but can I suggest you edit your post and remove names and loctions, you are very identifiable and this is an open forum I hope you can resolve this in your son's best interests
Edited 17/02/2021
pluto September 26, 2018 13:51
Your son is 19 months now and was placed under a sgo order in dec 2017, that is less than a year ago. In that time you went from being seriously mentally ill, homeless and in an abusive relationship to 'everything is fine'. I understand the worries of your mother, there is no guarantee that your mental illness can not return or at what level, you are in a new relationship very soon after the abusive one, and you have just started working. Have you considered that it might be better to learn to know your new partner properly over a longer period of time? as he'll become the steph parent. That it might need some time to prove to others especially your mother that indeed the support is there and you are able to keep that job and maintain a stable situation all round. Because so many things changed in such short period I would try to keep the relationship with your parents as good as possible, visit the child as often as possible, fight for things like staying over one weekend a month and than build on that. It will make your case a lot stronger if you can show the court you have concidered your childs needs first. Your parents are now as important to the child as you, so it is in the child's best interest if things go slowly, everyone agrees. You might get him back eventually but the worst outcome is when things are done tooi quickly, you relaps, your new partner looses interest and can not care for him longer term, in the best case he goes back to your parents but a lot of damage to his psychiological health will be done. Than his behaviours might become challenging and your parents might no longer want to care for him, than stranger foster care will become a reality, with less rights for you. Take it slowly to the point where everyone agrees it is in his and your best interest to live with you full time. Better a stable four year old who moves to you into a stable situation and grandparents who support, than arguments, court cases, etc.
Edited 17/02/2021
Larsti September 26, 2018 14:31
Very wise words from Pluto. Perhaps you could phone the Adoption UK helpline as well. They may have some advice. Serrakunda is right. You need to change your post ASAP. I hope everything works out well for you. Your son is very fortunate that his grandparents were willing to look after him.
Edited 17/02/2021
Tina238 September 26, 2018 15:09
Hi Thanks for the advice. I will take it on board. I am so grateful to my Mum it just hurts that she is using my son as a weapon against me ie refusing contact whenever we have a slight disagreement. I don't know how to amend the post - I have reported it to the forum administrators but if you could let me do this I will amend straight away. Thanks
Edited 17/02/2021
Johanna September 26, 2018 16:25
We have SGOs and it is a complex situation for you. Hopefully it can be sorted out without need to go to Court and Pluto has made some very good points. If not resolved you would have to apply for leave to take to Court before any hearing and change of circumstances is necessary but not the only relevant consideration. I do hope that things work out for all of you. Johanna xx
Edited 17/02/2021
Larsti September 26, 2018 17:15
Tina if you look at the bottom left of your post you should see 'delete' and 'edit' Click on edit, make the changes and then save. Or you could delete (having read the replies) and if you want to repost under s different name.
Edited 17/02/2021
Tina238 September 26, 2018 17:19
Unfortunately I have nothing at the bottom of my post so I can't amend it :(
Edited 17/02/2021
Larsti September 26, 2018 18:20
I'm on a laptop and I'm logged in and I can see the delete and edit buttons on my posts. Maybe try that if you are on mobile?
Edited 17/02/2021
safia September 26, 2018 18:30
I can see it on my mobile - you only see it on your own posts - it might be worth contacting AUK if you can’t see how to do it
Edited 17/02/2021
Peahen September 26, 2018 22:27
Tina, if you haven't got this sorted out then I would suggest that you make sure that you are logged in to the AUK site. If not then log in. If you are then log out and log in again with the same user name Tina238 that you used originally. You should then see Edit and Delete buttons. If you don't then try other devise types (tablet, laptop, phone). If you still do not have sight of these buttons then contact AUK. You really don't want identifying information out there in the open and this is an open forum. Wishing you the best. Peahen
Edited 17/02/2021
Lilythepink January 8, 2019 18:59
Sorry, I'm late to this but didn't want to read and run. I'm sorry to hear of the conflict in the relationship with your mum around contact with and responsibility for your son. It's impossible to "judge" as a stranger on the internet what might be in your son's best interests in the medium/long term and how you might plan for the future. It's clear though that a breakdown of contact and relationship with your mum isn't in anyone's best interests. It sounds like you need someone to support you through this. After Adoption do a lot of work supporting birth parents in adoption. They might not be exactly the right organisation to help you as this is a SGO - but I would try phoning them and asking if there is any support they can suggest. https://www.afteradoption.org.uk/birthparentsupport/ I hope this resolves for all of you.
Edited 17/02/2021

Archived

This topic is archived. New posts are not allowed.