Archived Forums

View latest posts View active forum

Would I be accepted?

AmyH March 9, 2015 19:45
Hi there, I have recently turned 21 and I know this is the age where you can start adopting children. When I was 17, I was diagnosed with cervical cancer which resulted in me getting a hysterectomy which meant I couldn't have children of my own. I have always wanted children of my own but I have always wanted to adopt also because I think it's fair to give children a chance. I am single and still live with my parents. Would I get accepted for adoption or do you think they would tell me to get a partner and stable home first?
Edited 17/02/2021
Donatella March 9, 2015 20:42
Something similar cropped up recently - think this was the one. Might help to read these replies. 21 is young to adopt. Children in the care system come with a huge range of different issues and aren't easy to parent. Plus they're very expensive so think about how you'd afford a child, spare bedroom, how would your parents feel about being part of the assessment process? http://www.adoptionuk.org/forum-topic/can-i-adopt
Edited 17/02/2021
funkyfunky1 October 11, 2015 16:50
Hi me and my husband are thinking about adoapting as we can;t have kids ourselves. we currently live in a housing association house but with only the one bedroom. i was just wondering if anyone knew if this may stop the process until we had the right space for a child.
Edited 17/02/2021
Serrakunda October 11, 2015 17:18
Yes it would prevent you from adopting, you do need to have sufficient space for a child, not to mention all their stuff!
Edited 17/02/2021
Vester October 11, 2015 21:31
Adopted children have to have their own bedroom so you would need to look at moving. When agencies were desperate for adopters you would probably have been able to start the process and move during it but with the number of waiting approved adopters and lower numbers of children with placement orders it is unlikely an agency would even let you start. I would look at moving and getting settled and then approach agencies.
Edited 17/02/2021
Choochoo October 12, 2015 10:56
We started the adoption process whilst in a 1 bedroomed property, but it was some years ago when process was much longer and it was always the intention that we would sell and buy a bigger house. I'm not sure if it's the same now, but when we were going through the preparation we had to show we had experience with children other than our families eg. helping at youth groups, cubs etc. We did this even when we took a break from the process to move house. Just thinking that this is something that op and ff1 could be looking at doing regardless of their current circumstances - it'll stand you in good stead. CCx
Edited 17/02/2021
funkyfunky1 October 12, 2015 11:01
hi thanks for all your comments i am already a beaver leader anyway so work with children and my husband. does aswell. I think we will wait and see if we can move
Edited 17/02/2021
Maggiemoo123 November 19, 2015 07:05
Amy H- I think it's great that you are thinking about adoption- however, I would echo the views that 21 is extremely young. I have always wanted to adopt from a young age and am doing so now as a single person at 32! I am so glad I waited! It is an extremely difficult process and the SW will want to see that you've considered everything, and have everything in place to make it a success. It helped me to see my younger years as perfect time to prep. You know you want to adopt so why not use this time to read everything you can, get some childcare experience (in you've not already) save money is a biggie! You're in the perfect position to do all this and the more prepared you are the better! No one can take away your desire to parent... And that dream can become reality! However, you've got years ahead to do that. Best of luck x
Edited 17/02/2021
Adoptive Mummy March 13, 2016 07:40
Hi Amy, I agree to as certain degree but everyone is different. I think it would be a lot better for you to have a stable home on your own with finances to support you but in regards to adoption I don't know how much research you have done already, you might be more prepared than people realise. I adopted at 27 and I felt ready and mature enough to deal with everything. I would recommend you do some volunteering to get more experience with the age of child you would like to adopt. Our LO was 5 so we volunteered at a local beaver group during our process. I wish you all the luck in your journey
Edited 17/02/2021
Midge March 13, 2016 12:54
Hi Amy, I think I'd see how life pans out for you over the next five years or so. Focus on making a life for yourself, set yourself some achieve able personal goals and put the idea of adoption on the back burner until your late twenties. Life has a habit of going in directions we hadn't planned - see where yours takes you for a few years. I was a mum at just 22, bio child not adopted, I personally feel I was a better mum in my 20s than I am in my 40s. I had a lot more energy, determination and knew exactly how I wanted to bring my kids up. My oldest three are now grown up, I have my adopted one still at school. Until the last 20 years becoming a mum in your 20s not 40s was the norm, and I think we often forget this. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be a mum now, but you've had to manage a lot in a very few years of adulthood which has been beyond your control. Now you have the time and opportunity to take control and move your life forward with a long term goal of parenthood by adoption, either as a singleton or a couple if you meet your life partner in the next few years. I agree with planning in some volunteering - these opportunities often give you new perspectives, my older lads volunteer with a homeless charity and feel they've grown personally as a result. They don't have to do it, but they enjoy meeting the people, feeling like they make a small difference and are using some of their free time for the benefit of others. They initiated it all themselves and I'm very proud of them. The volunteering website 'do-it.org' has lots of opportunities, many involving working with children or families, and this experience will be asked of you when you come to apply to adopt, regardless of what you do for a job (even teachers and nursery nurses get asked). Do some saving for the future, but get some life experiences that help you grow, and put adoption aside for now. Good luck.
Edited 17/02/2021

Archived

This topic is archived. New posts are not allowed.