Archived Forums

OMG - what awful news for you. I really don't know much about the law in these situations???I really, really feel for you.Sending you a bone crusher of a hug and all best wishes...

I am really sorry to hear your news, just wanted to send huge hug.xx

M and MI am so sorry and thinking of you....There is something seriously wrong with this system and they dare say its in the childs best interest!!! Makes me mad and sad...I had a simliar thing with Kitten, who i meet next week but i had a court delay of 6 months which by the time SS sorted themselves out it turned into 9 months out of Kittens life, so i do understand how you feel and the sad thing is, it probably happens alot more than we know.Best wishes and thinking of youSuki cat x

Oh this is dreadful news. I feel so sad and at the same time so angry. You must feel all over the place. Oh I can't think of anything to say that will make it better. Suki is a good example of how things can work out, but she did go through the mangle to get thereI really hope that something positive happens for you soon and for the little ones too.I'm gutted for you.

I am sorry, I really feel for you.I DO wish that SS would desist from linking adopters to children who don't have placement orders. I know they are allowed to, where one is applied for, but I do think its poor practice. There's nothing to stop them having you 'in mind' for the minute the PO is got, but in situations like this it just causes more anguish.I guess you already know there are no guarantees with this? And that February could become even later in the year? If the family have the nouse to keep introducing obstacles at the 11th hour, they may well do it again. Or of course they could manage to keep the baby within the family.Honestly - I'd seriously consider at withdrawing from this link, its likely to be an incredibly stressful and upsetting wait.BW, Midge

Sorry to hear your news.....

oh no I am so sorry to hear your news. I hope things turn around quickly for you. We have been waiting for our littlie who we have been matched to in March since last October so know what the wait is like. Take care of yourselves(((BIG BIG HUG)))Nefexx

Couldn't agree more with Midge. It is really not on that you have been approached for this sibling group when they weren't freed for adoption. I think I would seriously consider walking away now, however hard this must be for you. Imagine how much worse you will feel in February (or God knows when?) when they deicide that actually they cannot be adopted after all. I feel so SO sorry for you Your emotions must be all over the place. I hope you have a strong support network around you right now.Big hug.xx

So sorry to hear this. How awful for you and for the squidges. How can anyone think that this is in the best interests of these children? My heart is very sore for them and for both of you. Take care of one another.

oh my goodness - I am so sorry this is really hard to hear..... Can't make it better for you but hope you feel the support of us here in your grief....

I am so sorry to hear the news, I am not surprised you are gutted that must be such a shock. Best wishes and thinking of you all x

I am so sorry for youwe were in a similar position when the la of the children we were linked with were really poor. Within a month of being linked 2 sw left (1 lasted less than a week) and the children were without their own sw for 6 months, paper work wasn't done and everything stopped.It was one disaster after another of missed meetings and disorganisation. They had already been in care far too long at this stage.Our sw advised us to pull out as we had no idea when a sw would be allocated. The children seemed so right for us but so unobtainable. Our sw said she couldn't support us with the match without a sw from the placing authority. I rang AUK who were brilliant and helped us with a way forward.I told our sw we wouldn't pull out but would look at other matches. She was happy with this compromise Our sw arrange to see us to discuss some possible matches and then told us the children had a sw. After more delays they were finally placed about 8 months after we heard about them.The waiting is hard (and i still haven't forgiven the placing authority) but at least we knew that if we waited things were unlikely to go wrong. It also gave us an indication of things to come with the placing LA.I hope things work out for youBest wishesNomad

thanks everyone for your support xx i will ansa properly tomorrow but just wanted to post quickly to say thanks. my gut feel is to pull out but that might be knee-jerk. we have a mtg on mon with the la family finder to get more detail and will decide what to do after that.a very sore mary xxx

Just to reiterate what has been said that it will be a long and extremely painful time if you do hang on in there and I wonder if you should do it.I had to fight for my son as they withdrew at the last minute. However, I fought on as in his case there were no other adopters, no one else at all in the picture, his foster placement was breaking down and his picture kept appearing in Children who Wait. They just to a dislike to me for whatever reason - money was my gut instinct.However, it took a year from the date of the first intros to him actually moving in and I can honestly say it was the most heart breaking, emotionally distressing, time. absolutely NOBODY understodd. I felt he was mine by then, I had his photos and videos and as far as I was concerned as no one had warned me otherwise I was looking at my son.If there had been the slightest chance of him being found another home I would have withdrawn thankful he was going to be cared for. Because there wasn't I hung on and fought tooth and nail, appearing on Dispatches, writing to all and sundry, MPS, even the PM, getting all my friends and family to write and sending all those testimonials to everyone too. If you an withdrawn now I would. Move on, your children will be out there. If you can grieve now and move on then please do it. The agony of the long drawn out fight with no guarantees is not one I would want anyone else to go through. By the time it is decided and it may not go in your favour you may have your family placed with you and getting on with normal life.I do know how tragic and how bereft you must be feeling, but after Monday's meeting, perhaps take some time and then make a decision.best of luck at this awful time.

MorningPoor you, I can only imagine this is a terrible situation to be in after waiting for so long. Are you able to keep this link open but look for other links in the meantime? Then if you are linked / matched with other children before next year you can go ahead with that? I don't know whether that's ok to do or not.I also agree that SW should not make links until the placement order has been granted. It's one of the first things I look for when reading cpr's.I'm sure whatever decision you make will be the right one.

There is nothing I can say to make this horrible situation any better, just sending you oodles of support and cyber hugs. We're all here for you and will support you as much as we can xx

I have sent you a PM with our story, but please believe what I say, it is a horrible time but what ever happens, your children are out there for you, it may be these three it may, but they are there.

Sorry to hear your news, Mary and Mungo. This must be a very stressful time for both of you. My thoughts are with you and I hope the decision you make after Monday's meeting is the right one for you.Breen

I don't have any advice but just wanted to say how sorry I am for you, this is such an awful thing to have happened, sending you a big hug...