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White adopters adopting mixed race child - advice please

SC7 July 20, 2012 13:09
Hi,My husband and I are white and being assessed to adopt a little boy who is half caribbean. Can any adopters out there give us any advice please on particular questions the social workers may ask us, or particular issues which may come up?Thanks
Edited 17/02/2021
minnie7 July 20, 2012 17:14
Things around how you will keep the child's heritage alive, how you will cope with racism if this should arise. Also, when I was interviewed for mixed race child (I am single white adopter), I was asked about the area I live in (it IS predominantly white but from working in the local school as volunteer I was aware of various families of different ethnicities and therefore that the child would not be the only mixed race child). Hope that helps a bit. I know my answer is pretty board based so if you have any more specific queries please let me know.Minnie x
Edited 17/02/2021
minnie7 July 20, 2012 17:16
I mean broad (not board)!!!!!
Edited 17/02/2021
Jet July 20, 2012 19:09
all the things Minnie mentionedthe key thing for me is what connections you have or could make with other black or mixed familiesthink haircarethink heritagethink historythink culturethink booksare you already intersted in any of these things?I went did a black history GCSE partly for my kids but also becuase it interested me also can you both be happy to 'own' your child eg have you had or would be happy to have had relationships with a black partner people may well assume the child is the biological child of one of you and you should not need to explain they are not there is a rather depressing BAAF book about the experiences of people adopted transracially read it and learn from it what not to do think what it would be like for the child to be in a minority in your family and recognise this NB we solved this by adopting 3 kids with similar heritage
Edited 17/02/2021
jmk July 21, 2012 09:52
You have had some good advice already. Jet made a very good point about adopting further mixed race children in the future. I am adopted myself, and I do think it is important to have at least someone in your family whom you resemble, even more so if your parents are both white. Throughout your life you hear family members commenting on other family members saying "doesn't he look like uncle so and so" and if you do not have anyone in your family that looks like you it is hard and makes you feel the odd one out. Most adopted children just want to blend in and not stand out or attract attention as they just want to be like everyone else. Inter-racial adoption changes that, and they will have to learn how to deal with nosey people asking probing questions, as will you.Have a read of the BME board for tips on haircare/skincare etc. Try and get some books for your child with positive messages on being mixed race, there are lots of good ones on Amazon. Do you live in an ethnically mixed area? Look at schools with a good ethnic mix so your child will see other children like them. Prepare yourself for strangers asking you personal intusive questions regarding your little one as they WILL ask you.It never ceases to amaze me how blunt and intrusive complete strangers can be and you need to think about how you will handle this and have some answers/put downs ready. Also you have to think about how you will help your child deal with this.
Edited 17/02/2021

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