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What’s the plan for the new baby? Is adoption a certainty? Will they do f2a? How would you manage adoption leave? Are they going to give you an AA?

Lots of things to consider over and above having two under 1.

Hi Donatella

Adoption is a certainty, f2a with us is highly likely. I'd have over a year off work, partner will take leave (but is around a lot as works shifts) and family close by. AA (I assume you mean adoption allowance) is not necessary.

I asked about two young ones as that is the element I'd appreciate support with.

Hi - I had two toddlers very close together in age adopted separately who although siblings had never met. It was very very hard and I couldn’t possibly have gone back to work and in reality have only been able to work part time ever since. I don’t remember anyone on this site being in the same position as you but it might be worth searching the archives as you may find something there. Also to have a look on mumsnet and other sites (I’m not familiar and up to date with these so wouldn’t know which) for general tips on having two babies so close together. People do manage and there are some advantages - some people plan it that way. I think it’s great that you will be doing F2A as it gives the best possible chance for everyone under the circumstances and important that you prepare yourself as much as possible - for the practical issues as well as emotional.

Mine have less than a year age difference but were placed when older (5 and 6). There is a lot of overlap with a twin situation, so you could look into that. You will have stuff to deal with one top of that of course.

Funnily enough people used to call mine the “terrible twins” as they were about the same size and looked very alike - 19mths apart - my daughter (eldest) had quite significant learning difficulties and was very small for her age - so the twins advice is really helpful especially for practical things - though mine could never use a double buggy due to my daughter biting / scratching my son if she had half a chance! So yes twins with lots and lots of extras on top is a good way of looking at it!