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Nightmare life living with teenager pushing all boundaries
DaffyDuck
March 19, 2018 17:09
Any ideas. We are struggling to cope. DS is making our lives hell. If it isn't nailed down (or locked away) it disappears. I even made a statement to police to try and stop his behaviour. Awaiting to hear from Youth Offending Team to hear if he will have a worker. He has a drugs mentor to help with cannabis use. Stays out all night when he feels like it. Lies very convincingly. Can be very polite when he wants to. Treats us as a B&B. Terrible attitude towards me - ignores everything I say, behaves better when his dad is around. And I won't even start on education! He has a CIN SW but this is new and is taking forever. Struggles with ADHD (no meds available due to his illicit drugs usage) and clearly has attachment difficulties. What to do next?
pluto
March 19, 2018 17:28
Depends on his age.
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Pear Tree
March 19, 2018 20:08
Hi I will flag your post within www.thePOTATOgroup.org.uk but warmly suggest you consider joining. We have a number of member families facing similar. Are post adoption adoption involved? Youth offending team can be good allies.
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lilyofthevalley
March 20, 2018 09:14
It is difficult to comment without knowing his age. Lily
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DaffyDuck
March 20, 2018 12:15
DS is 14. and we no longer have a post adoption worker - they closed our file last summer 6 days after crisis. About a month later I requested support via LA team manager but was fobbed off as not the right support for his needs (never mind our needs!). Since then we have had to manage alone. Recently on the verge of S20 but so far avoiding this by coping day to day with a few good friends for our emotional support.
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pingu123
March 20, 2018 17:01
No surprises with PASW. When we raised a concern about our son on one occasion, ours told us it wasn't an adoption problem as it was due to what happened in his birth family before he came to us !! (well at least they didn't blame it on us, or send us on a parenting course! ) Hope some of those with more experience will be along later and can advise. Take care Pingu
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Dreamcametrue
March 20, 2018 18:51
Our AS has just started to steal money from us, he is aged 11. Various issues since he was adopted nearly 3 years ago. Impacting on house atmosphere and his siblings. We contacted PAS two weeks ago and still waiting for a call back. We really hope you get some support, itâs so frightening isnât it! Big hugs
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lilyofthevalley
March 20, 2018 19:50
It sounds very difficult indeed. There are potentially various people involved - drugs mentor, CIN social worker, YOT, psychiatry, education, police. I would have thought that there needs to be a review meeting involving all these different people with yourselves as his parents and with your son. He needs to understand why there is so much concern about him and plans need to be made about what needs to be done for things to improve. There needs to be good communication between all the different people and regular reviews. It might also be possible to ask for occasional weekend respite to give you and your husband a break. Unless there is improvement it is unlikely that you will be able to carry on with him living at home indefinitely. Lily x
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Cousy
March 21, 2018 22:57
Join the potato group Email them on ---- EMAIL REDACTED ---- You find others who are experiencing the same.
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Sonya E
March 27, 2018 13:17
Sad but familiar - a lot of us have to live in 'secure' home to protect ourselves, pets and valuables, as others have mentioned - the potato group is a good option and good for support from others that have similar experiences and can offer 'virtual' support
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