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I think you have to accept that he is at that age when its starts to get embarrassing to be out with your mum. Simba is 14, going out with me is generally not fun anymore, for either of us. He speaks some wierd teenspeak which I can't follow and talks constantly about F1and the football league which I have no interest in. Holidays are a bit better because there's no chance of being spotted by his mates. He moans about never getting a lie in at the weekends - but he wanted the paper round! He goes out at 7.30 is back by 9 and spends the rest of the morning on the sofa under a blanket playing on his phone. Next door have a 14 year old, they spend most weekends screeching at him to get out of bed. You do seem to post a lot about motivating him to do things which you think he should be doing. He has friends, he will meet them if he wants to. To be honest I'd just leave him to it. He will emerge in a few years time.

Why do you think he should be doing all this stuff? Who decides what teenagers should or shouldn’t do and when! Fwiw at 13 my boys would have rather stuck pins in their eyes than spend the day with me having fun ... or at least what I thought was fun. I think it’s pretty normal for teenagers to want to spend time in their rooms doing nothing ... other than xboxes, iPads, play stations. All part and parcel of growing up and starting to learn to separate. My 15 year old is happy to spend some time with me but that assumes it’s something he enjoys doing rather than what I might want him to do. In his case, it’s museums, castles, art galleries because they are his interests. What does your lad like? Is he into music - if not then I can understand why the prospect of spending a day doing something he’s not into wouldn’t appeal. If he is into music, then maybe take him to a concert of his choice? Accepting it might be yours. School is only going to get harder from now on .. let him have his down time. But maybe focus on his interests, if he has any?

I think its difficult to watch them festering away - especially if you are of the generation that didnt have internet etc as a teen - when you did need to go out to have a life - I spent my teens doing riding for the disabled and spending time with horses and friends and cycling everywhere - but life is different now, not for the better in my opinion, but it is they way it is now and teens will come out the other side in their own way - my daughter spent from age 13 to 16 (when she moved to supported living for young people with MH issues) housebound - but now she is doing the best she can and starting to get out and about with support workers - its more stressful for the parent than it is for the teen, but I do feel sad for teens nowadays with the pressures of the internet etc

I have two teens. 18 year old runs the majority of her social life from her room. She talks to people all over the UK and further afield via fan groups for various celebrities and youtubers she's in to. She does arrange to go out sometimes or to concerts / TV shows / events. I hate that she's so sedentary but she has managed to improve her formerly poor social skills by doing this and has interests - not that dissimilar to me obsessing over popstars and bands at one time. I wasn't that active as a teen - spent a lot of time listening to music and reading - though did a lot more once I was in sixth form. 13, nearly 14 yo doesn't sit in her room - primarily as she has no wireless connection in there! She is often on a device though. Interacting with friends (mostly real life ones) , doing "lives" or playing Roblox with a friend. She is more active than 18 yo though. And does still do art and craft activities at times . Also goes to a musical theatre group. I don't think you can push them to do that much at this age. You have to go with the flow. And I quite like being left alone! Mine will go out with me/us at times - though don't always agree with each other over what to do and I prefer to be with one at a time (much more pleasant).

Oh! How I truly understand! My 13 year old AS has become a grunting, scowling hater of anything other than his X-box and phone. If I am lucky he goes out with friends for part of a day. He seems happy with them, but with me - Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde! I am just hoping that he may come out a reasonably engaging coherent young man at some time in the future.

My AD (14) similarly spends a lot of time in her room, and really doesn't want to do workshops etc. I've always had to be quite structured with her in terms of routine and have 'house rules' which mean that I do occasionally see her downstairs: No sleeping in past 9am. I wake her up then and expect her to come downstairs for breakfast. No food upstairs. No electronic devices upstairs, including her phone, which live downstairs. A limit on electronic time. ... there are times when she is being so grumpy and rude, however, that I do wonder why I insist on these! Am making arrangements for a hammock in the garden this summer with the sole aim of getting her outside.