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Ok so this is usually a piece given to parents of children newly diagnosed with a disability/special need of some kind. However I can''t help thinking it would be really great to give something like this to new adopters. Having a BC with disabilities was a total shock for me. Parenthood took on a new meaning, however all along I could not quite come to terms that something was wrong or indeed whether I wanted to accept what was going on, even when I was pushing for answers. The world I had imagined was turned up side down.Having read a post that has now been locked, it made me appreciate just how much the similarities are between parenting a child with a disability and the needs of a child who has been in care. Then add on that some children have disabilities who have been adopted and you really have massive issues for everyone. Part of accepting or seeking help and advice is getting to the point of being able to acknowledge that you need help in the first place and we all reach these places at different times. Being made to feel a failure by services that are stretched and cannot offer the help you need or simply are not listening only compounds this problem. As someone said on the previous post ''selective hearing'' comes in and at times we are all guilty of only hearing what we want to hear. As for my AC and BC they are both perfect when people want to say anything negative about them to me .Clearly my children are not perfect. However I have had the luxury of my BC''s needs growing with me and I have learnt over time to cope and seek the help I need. Therefore unlike adoptive parents, I have not had the shock of suddenly being landed with lots of problems, however big or small. As for my AC I have learnt before adopting that no child is perfect and to grit my teeth and see another day, as I have already grown rhino skin due to my BC''s needs. So help anyone who steps in my way on a bad day!!It must be so hard for newly adoptive parents to not really know how they have landed themselves in a situation of being with a little person (the whole process seems to just sweep you along in the end), having not nurtured a personality or grown to love those little ways. No one can imagine the stress of having a child with disabilities unless they have lived in your shoes. You lose friends and family when you need them most. Likewise when adopting a child. Thank goodness for places like this where people can come and vent their concerns. If you go to any special needs board you would find the same worries and concerns, frustrations and anger, only from a different angle.No real point to my post, other than thank you to everyone who posts and supports as you have helped me and goodness knows how many others in their lives. As well as getting discussions going and making a big difference to the world of adoption.