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Hi Jessica. First, you're still quite young to be considering adoption. Lots of adopters are older and come to adoption having first exhausted the infertility route so you still have plenty of time. Can you choose the age? Yes and no. You can specify an age range but if you're thinking of a baby then it's likely that you'd have a very long wait and be in competition with lots of other prospective adopters. Living with your parents could be difficult. They'd have to be a big part of the assessment process and be dbs checked. They'd need to be fully on board. And you'd need a separate bedroom for a child. It's a very intrusive process and would involve delving deeply into your background and your reasons for adopting. You'd need to think carefully about the types of children in the care system who are looking for homes - older, hard to place, with disabilities quire often. Even babies are unlikely to be easy to parent given that a lot of abuse is suffered in utero. Read, research. But do discuss with your parents as they need to know what you're thinking.

Buna, Jessica - We tried to adopt from Romania but it didn't come off for us and we ended up adopting from the UK. Donatella has given you some good advice. I'll try to answer some of your other questions: How long does it take? A very minimum of 6 months. For most people it takes a LOT longer. You need to think in terms of years as it doesn't take much for things to be put back. For example, you've just finished your home study but you've just missed one approval panel and the next is scheduled for a couple of months time. There are government guidelines for the timescales for that part of the process but once you're approved you have to wait to be matched - for the agency to decide that you are the right parent for one of their children. There are no government guidelines for that part of the process and it can take a long, long time. It could be weeks, years or never. And you do need to realise that no one is trying to find a child for you: they are all trying to find parents for the children that they have to place. So they don't take into account that you've been waiting for ages: if there is another parent or parents whom they judge to be better suited in some way, they will choose the others. What's the best agency to go through? There's no definitive answer on that. (Virtually) all adoptions in the UK are from local authority care. It's possible that there may be a very, very small number of relinquished babies placed directly through a charity, but I'm not sure about that. I wouldn't, personally, put my hopes on that happening. Most local authorities will try to place children themselves, as they have to pay voluntary agencies tens of thousands of pounds if they're placed through the agency. The result is that they normally only place children through a voluntary agency if they've found it hard to place them themselves. This may mean children with higher levels of need, older children or children from ethnic backgrounds for which they are unlikely to find a match. And the children may have spent a long time in the care system. A translation of some of these reasons is "children who are likely to be much more difficult to parent". On the plus side, in general voluntary agencies are better at supporting adopters - although I'd always recommend doing research to find out if it's true of any agency you're looking considering. Also if you are of an unusual ethnicity in your area, the local authorities around there may have very few children that would be a match, so a voluntary agency may be more likely to come up with a match. On the downside, again, it could mean that you end up being placed with a child who comes from a local authority a long way from you. That can make introductions difficult, but also post-adoption support. Although the vountary agency may give you some (and quite good) support, for the first three years after the adoption order is granted (which is at least 6 months after the child is placed) the responsibility for supporting you actually falls under the placing authority. If they are from the far end of the country they may find it difficult to support you and may even be reluctant to do so. For instance, if a social worker has to spend most of a day travelling to get to you then stay overnight and return the next day, that's two days out of their schedule. That's a lot! So if you feel that you need an assessment of support needs that requires a few visits, you can imagine the reaction of the local authority to your request. Even if they do the assessment and determine a need, they may well have no idea who is available in your area to provide the therapy, etc. which means that you'll probably have to do all of the research to find someone to do it. After that three year period, the responsibility for support falls under the local authority where you live. You would need to approach them: they're not going to know about you. I have heard, anecdotally, that some show a certain reluctance to take on parents who are passed on from another local authority, particularly where they have a high level of need And I've also heard that they can be reluctant to take on any commitments from the previous local authority. So if you've been getting some support from the previous local authority, that may just stop after the three year mark and the new local authority may not decide to provide that support. Even if they do, it could mean an assessment which (as with most things in the adoption world) can take a long time. That means that you could reach the end of the three year mark, lose your support and then have to wait a number of months for assessments and decisions before it's reinstated. On the other hand, the new local authority may actually be much better, in which case you could be much better supported! Hope some of that is helpful.

I think iwould try to get established as an independant adult first i.e. Your own flat rather than apply while living with Mum. Being in rented place is not a problem, you dont have to own a house to adopt. I ws a bit unclear whether your reference to your feeling like your clock is ticking.and being under pressure to have children. If you are still thinking of having biological children then you may find social workers not keen to take you on, as adopters need to be committed 100% to the child you are taking on, and subsequently becoming pregnant can throw all sorts of problems up. Dont worry about having to rush to adopt, many adopters are in their forties or even fifties. Take your time to be sure you are ready to go down this route. Start to read up about the difficulties and issues common with children adopted from the British care system. And the kind of damage and issues they may have, not necesarily the same as children with your background I wanted to adopt at your age, but i am more than ever glad that i waited a bit and. Now i have two lovely lads that were worth waiting for, and a much stronger support network. Just dont rush and regret the timing has to be right Best wishes Pingu