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Sorry, no experience to offer. Not sure you will get much more of response here to be honest. It is a huge thing to come to terms with and it may be that your family could do with some counselling. Maybe the agency who contacted your sister could help? A lot may depend on what your sister decides to do next. That one meeting may be enough to satisfy her curiosity but she may decide she wants to pursue the relationship more

I can share my experience as an adoptee who searched for my original parents. I was born in the 60s where a lot of adoptions were due to social stigma of being unmarried-in effect my mum was coerced into giving me up for adoption. my mum spent 6 weeks in a mother and baby home with me then I was handed directly to my adoptive parents. I think there were still cases like mine in the 70s though I think the stigma was beginning to decrease. My mum was told that if she really loved me she would give me to a family that could provide more for me (financially and also where i would have a mum and dad). She was made to feel that she would be selfish to try and keep me. The regime at the mother and baby home was punitive and getting pregnant outside of marriage was seen as a sin. My mum was told when she gave me up to forget about me-in time she would settle down, marry and have other children. Not knowing more of your situation I can only really share my own and leave you to pick up on anything useful and ditch what doesn't apply. I know as an adoptee I felt a lot of guilt in looking for my original parents. I did not want to upset my adoptive parents. I think through reunion I learnt that you can love 2 sets of parents, but as an adoptee I felt I was walking on a tightrope trying to keep both sides happy. In my case I think my adoptive parents found it harder than my original parents. I think my adoptive parents had been given very little information about my background. They were never prepared by professionals for the possibility of a reunion between myself and my original parents. I think they struggled a lot but found it hard to talk about their feelings with me even though I would have wanted to discuss things with them. In my case I wanted to find my original mum to tell her I was OK, that I did not blame her for my adoption. However, when I did meet her I felt a really strong connection which I had not expected to feel. I know some adoptees don't feel that. I suppose the point I'm trying to make is that it can be unpredictable and maybe your sister will be quite confused about how she responds to the meeting. If you are a close family now I don't see why that would change. Your sister doesn't need to choose between her original mum and the rest of you if a relationship does begin to develop. I do think lining up some sort of counselling for any family members that are struggling could be useful as this is a big situation to be facing. Not sure where to point you though. I also would wonder how your sisters original mum has coped over the years and if they do develop a relationship they might both benefit from counselling. My reunion broke down, though it was good for many years. I think my original mum had a lot of trauma from her experience of relinquishing me (it was something she did not want to do but was pressurised in to) and maybe if she had had some counselling our reunion would have lasted. Unfortunately she felt professionals had screwed up her life and I don't think she would have found it easy to open up to "professionals" about the pain, and in her case, self loathing she felt over my adoption.

Thanks for sharing this, it is helpful.

I sent you a private message with a link to a forum where you can read about other peoples experience with reunion. I hope it helps.