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HiOur dd is section 20Currently going through a 'needs' assessment as ages turning 16Adult services have a strict criteria and vulnerability is very hard to prove, blossoms extreme risk taking behaviours will count.Better is a set of low IQs and complex physical / obvious needs.In a genuine sense I think that setting these yp up to fail is the most hideous torture for adoptersThe yp will almost certainly survive In fact They are amazing survivors of a myriad of thingsBut the adopter? Hmmm they get very badly hurt IMOBlossom often had said in the past she would t speak to or see us We did worry that If we dropped off the planet she would t notice.But actually this hasn't happened.She's always caused something to happen which has meant contacting us over something Think 3 months was the longest she wentWhen she doesn't contact us we wrote, snail mail style And one evening a week we ring and invite her to speak/ ring us back as we will be around til 10pmThat way we are keeping things alive, an easy way back in I know you have to be careful on here but if you are concerned for her mental welbeing than ask for her to be assessed under the mental health act.I would write concisely to the head of ss, the elected member for children in care etc and ask for a meeting to discuss safeguarding of a vulnerable child who is at considerable risk.Blossom was going to move into a B and BThis is plainly redicilous and so I've flatly refused to even allow it on agendasNow things feel a bit better, she's going to have transitions planning going forwards. And there's this 'needs' assessment coming on stream.It's so hard (((((Onthego)))))

Section 20 means in theory that the parents hold parental responsibility.Oh purleeeeeeessssse...... what a load of ballcocks!We do NOT hold any parental responsibility.The services will not engage with us.They won't even answer phone calls or emails.In the business world, not one of them would last more than 5 days, because they would get the sack for their incompetence and lack of judgement.SWs and other so-called "professionals" that we have had the misfortune to deal with have been at best totally incompetent - and little better than the young people they are supposed to serve - and at best dangerous in their attitudes.

Hi onthego,I assume you mean that she will move to independent living when she is 18? Our ad went into care aged 15, as she became unparentable (sect. 20), she went awol just about every other day when living with us and whilst at a residential placement. I'm afraid SS do not listen to us parents, and will do what they see fit. All you can do is voice your concerns, put them in writing.I have to say that going into independent living seems to be making our "wild child", who has taken so many risks with her choices, into a responsible maturing young woman (unless she is totally able to fool us with a double life).We all have serious concerns about them going into independence, but in our case it has been the best thing. She was almost placed into a secure unit, because it was feared she would be killed or sold somewhere, and I saw no future whatsoever for her (or us with her).Support her rather than fight her. I see my ad 2/3 times a week,she comes to dinner, she has a lovely council flat, and she sees that she has to make her own future. She still has some way to go, but slowly, slowly, little steps she is getting there. I feel more hopeful for her that I have ever felt.SS cannot keep them in residential care after 18.I hope this helps, PM me if it helps.Best wishesJanie2 x

My AD went to a residential school when she was nearly 15 and from there went to supported accommodation and then moved to a nice council flat. It has worked out extremely well. Now aged 27 she has overcome many problems in her life. She works as a carer in a nursing home, loves her pets, looks after her flat, has friends and has a good relationship with me. She is happily settled there.Lily x

My daughter is just 16. I feel misled as they told me she would go into supported living which meant an adult was on site. I would feel happier with that. Now I have been told that she has asked to be totally independent.They keep telling me she is a really good cook and how she can manage money to buy food!!! Think it is life that brings dangers and not the kitchen. I asked for Sect 20 to keep her safe - I feel as though I have no say.She is living so far away I can do very lttle to support though will find a way.She has recently asked that I do not contact her and I have said I will respect this - any advice ???? Has happened before - I can identitfy with the concept of dropping off the planet unnoticed and whilst I dont mind too much as I am the adult there are confused siblings involved. She is of course the one who needs my support but not sure what that can be now???Too much for me because I wonder what it is like for her.With thanks to allXPS Do these needs assessments and risk assessments that should be taking place have any names/ titles I should make reference to. I am not fighting my daughter - my role is to ensure SW really understands her needs and vulnerabilities to make an informed decision.

Have not read it all yet but the following might help:www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/8260/Provision_20of_20accommodation.pdfwill post again if I find something particularly usefulGood luck onthegoTeletubbies x

My AD is 17 and is preparing to move from residential care where she is on a section 20. Supported living is being considered as an option as is independent living in her own flat. Everyone who knows her knows that supported living will be the better option but as they have offered her a choice I think she will opt for the flat. I don't agree but have accepted that nothing I or her dad say or do is taken any notice of. I know i am just going to have to let her get on with whatever she chooses and she will have to deal with it. Must be really tough if your AD is asking to go at 16 and can imagine your worries. Don't have any answers am afraid but I know independence is the making for some. Fingers x it will be for ours too. Take care x