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Mary & Dom February 20, 2021 09:14

Hi all,

We've recently been approved for adoption and are currently getting to grips with the challenges of matching and linkmaker.

We have said that, for us personally, we do not think we would be prepared to adopt a child with diagnosed FASD but we are very taken by a little girl, on linkmaker, who is just due to turn three, whose mother drank heavily during pregnancy.

The child has none of the facial features or delayed growth usually associated with FASD. She is also hitting all her development milestones, and is bright by all accounts.

We know that FASD Is often diagnosed later in life, we also know it to a spectrum of presentations, but we are finding it difficult to find any clinical information or research or any advice that would allow us to understand the risks.

We attempted to open a discussion with the SW but they have declined as our profile advised we would not consider a child with FASD.

To a lay person, it just seems that if a 3 year old child who is under review and assessment for presentation of FASD has none of the markers then the risk of FASD and, in particular, the risks of the more severe forms of FASD are likely to be low and we would have at least wanted to know more information to be able to understand that risk fully.

if there is any advice, or information sources anyone can direct us to, Then it would be hugely appreciated

Thanks so much in advance,

Safia February 20, 2021 11:13

There’s always a possibility the child may have FASD - or a milder form - as Mum drank during pregnancy and as it is documented you may then get a diagnosis - so if your profile says you won’t consider it then the SW is sensible not to respond - they are being honest. What about other learning difficulties - which could be very similar in presentation and wouldn’t be able to be diagnosed till much later - how do you feel about that? These are all very common in adopted children and again SWs might be wary if you’ve said no to FASD. Is there a particular reason you specified FASD - personal experience? It might be worth reviewing it all with your SW

Donatella February 20, 2021 13:05

The facial features are only present if bm drank during a very short period when the face was developing. I seem to recall that’s a 3 week period but may be wrong.

If bm drank, then I’d say it’s safe to assume that this child will be affected to some degree. FAS would be the most serious but it is a spectrum. The fact that bm has admitted to drinking might make it easier to get a diagnosis but in all honesty, ime, an FAS/FASD/ARND dx won’t necessarily bring much support or understanding.

For more info you can google Dr Raja Muckherjee - sp - as an expert but as you’ve already said no previously to FASD, then I can understand why sw won’t proceed with you. Do be aware though that a very large percentage of children awaiting adoption may well be affected by alcohol consumption in utero and there are no guarantees that any child you go on to adopt won’t be affected ... just because bm didn’t admit to it, doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. So even if you say no, you may still end up parenting a child with fasd/arnd etc.

The other thing to consider is why bm is self medicating with alcohol. What other possible issues are there?

More info here

https://www.adoptionuk.org/pages/site/scotland/category/fasd-hub-scotland

Edited 20/02/2021

Godden February 20, 2021 21:50

Hi, we are in a similar stage so not much experience or wisdom from me but I just wanted to share something our social worker has told us which has really helped us when looking at profiles. Look at what the realistic worst case scenario of their potential risks could be and think about whether you could cope with that or not. It has really helped us as we were looking at all best case or how the children are presenting at the moment rather than what could develop and if we would have capacity to manage that. I hope you find a great match!

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