Thank you both for your kind words.
reading over my post it sounds really harsh. I sound hard and I am not. I have my Grandaughter about 3 times a week overnight. She is a wee delight. She is getting at the demanding stage.my daughter tries hard with her but it depends in the mood she is in. I got social services involved a few times throughout her life, I was worried over her behaviour in the house, particularly after one time when she physically attacked me. She was unhappy growing up and resented me , hated me. She was challenging , but kept out of trouble until she was 16. When she left I got no sympathy or kind words for her friends mums who lived nearby. As they believed my ad when she told them I was cruel, shouted at her a lot and she was adopted living with an adopted mum who hated her..social work just made situation worse they wanted to treat her like a bad girl going off the rails. I wanted help in the attachment issues but no help was available. I then got them involved again when she was16, as she walked put no money , did not care where she stayed I needed someone who would look out for her. They got her a flat set up rules no drinking no one was allowed to stay but that ended up being a complete joke as they could not police that. At this point she started taking a lot of drugs her social worker once told me that she prayed every night that she would be alive the next morning. Sorry I am going on a bit ..from there she went from one bad relationship to another, back with her bags only if she really had to. She learned to survive on almost nothing. I would say from there she has changed her life around a good bit, I think because of her daughter. We helped as much as possible. But she needed the help and despised me for giving it to her. I would say our relationship now is worse now, that wall that I had built around myself to protect me had to be pulled down when my Grandaughter was born, but I find myself having to build it up again. She sees nothing in reducing me to tears thinks I am pathetic..I want her to be happy, if that means seeing less of her so be it ..as I don’t want my Grandaughter being brought up through the fighting..it’s not good. It is all affecting my granddaughters behaviour, she can be very difficult and demanding and I don’t see things changing any
latest drama is she admitted she was drinking most days, joined AA..I was happy in one way because she does drink too much , her friends supported her ..then she decides to drink again..I told her I would not judge her Ect, I knew in my heart it would not last as she was more interested in the drama of it all she wanted to be labelled an Alkie. Well I went through years with my own mum who was an alcoholic who wasted her own lifeand now at 72 has been in a home last 10 years due to this. I was not going to enable her. So this caused another argument.
my husband and I have been married over 33years, we have a good strong marriage. But honestly could have broken up a few times due to us arguing over the best way to treat my daughter. I am trying his way, to accept the name calling and go on as if it does not affect me, but it is slowly chipping away at me. I don’t want to live like this and feel I am trapped until next time.
As for the rape charge, I work as a beauty therapist in my local area, my daughter wants me to tell people about the rape..but I feel I can’t...I don’t want anyone to know my or her personal business. I blocked his mum from messaging me as she was just saying her son did not rape my daughter. I stood by her , saying to her there was evidence showing he did also my ad had been really bad with depression. I to.d her it was best to leave it to the authorities to deal with. Again my ad was angry that I did not call this woman names and shout at her..not my way, I will support my ad , but now I know she has a new man. She has been on tinder, I saw messages. She does not protect herself enough, so each time when something bad happens it chips away at her vulnerable self...
I am not saying I don’t believe her , she believes it . I want her to get the help she needs. But I need to find a way to survive this too as I feel like walking away from it all once again