Edited 17/02/2021
School behaviour
ginger
June 21, 2013 22:22
For those parents whos children behave in a different way at school - have you witnessed it at all? and why would you say they do this?Eldest I kind of get - he is perfect at school as wants to please and be seen as perfect there by all, so acts ''normal'' lets it al lout at home...Midget though is fine at home, a little hyper but nothing major at all, but at school is a nightmare for them.Went on a school trip today and witnessed lower level than they normally get - he was like he was on something hyper silly acting up,showing off, tense looking around, joking about constantly getting involved in what everyone else is doing....for 3 hours...(was not as bad as normal apparently as I was there - kids said same)I think its stress and anxiety - do you feel the same? why can''t he manage it at all at school he is like a different child.Ginger
Shortbread
June 21, 2013 22:45
Have you read the Louise Bomber books about school? They have great explanations as to why children may behave the way they do at school. My child always found unstructured time very challenging, the playground was awful for him, he would hit other children, I was told this happened on a daily basis. He never hit any children at home. DS couldn't regulate his own behaviour, so when he got excited he couldn't calm down. He also interpreted other childrens actions as a threat to him, so if someone bumped into him he thought they meant to hurt him, if someone said something unkind, he couldn't ignore it as again it was a threat to his safety. The noise in the playground frightened him. The Louise Bomber book really does help to unpick why our children may have difficulties at school, it should help school to look at strategies to support. Initially my sons school wanted to issue many consequences, however they had to accept that the reasons he did what he did could not be "fixed" by consequences. Kate Cairns identifies the need for a co-regulating adult, my son needed that and got it at home, so didn't hit other children, however he didn't have that in place at school, so his behaviour was not regulated. Things have improved greatly as a result of staff finally trying to get it and respond with the help he needs to move on.
Edited 17/02/2021
Shortbread
June 21, 2013 22:47
I was also a volunteer on a school trip, DS was in my group, and I could see a difference between him and his peers, although I did have one other child who was also quite hard work, kept leaving the group, found it hard to focus etc.
Edited 17/02/2021
kstar
June 21, 2013 23:28
Not really had time for any of this with AD yet as she has only just started school, but as a teacher we see it all the time. For some it is little thjngs - for example today AD ate sausages for lunch, she always tells me she hates them! - While others are like a completely different person. I guess its a different set of rules, a lot more people to contend with, less adult attention, having to find where you fit in etc... No advice except to say it is much more common than you'd think!
Edited 17/02/2021
ginger
June 22, 2013 06:40
Sorry I didnt really explain very well, he is 12 I have had this all his school life, its just that despite trying everything in books like louise bomber a managed move at year 6 and a lot of input in his first year at high school, he still cant manage himself. He is headed for another move out of the education system unless I can find a way to calm him (I guess) at school or the school to be able to regulate him better so he doesnt feel so anxious (?)It just hit home yesterday on this trip how differently he behaves...
Edited 17/02/2021
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