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Hi Bluemetro,

Another familiar name. I'm glad I can see a few familiar faces on here these days! Thought I'd reply because your experience seems quite like our own during and post-lockdown. Although, I forget how old your son is.

Actually during the lockdowns, AS coped quite well. I did have to spend a lot of time with him one-to-one with the school work, but we got a reasonable amount done each day and I think the whole lockdown was actually a good time for us to bond as a family. But the return to school was a different matter. I thought too that it would provide some respite from the intensity of home-schooling and just being on top of each other all the time, but AS really didn't cope with school well. There was a marked shift in the stress he felt going back into the classroom. All the vibes I got from school were pressured, with a focus on behaviour and discipline and sometimes there was just plain chaos (assessments being changed / moved at the last minute, repeatedly being sent home because of covid/ or having different teachers). It was his GCSE year last year, so, as you can imagine, it was particularly stressful. Roll on a few months and AS is in college, but not managing it well. His usual coping mechanism is to walk out when things are not going well and college are threatening to chuck him off the course because of poor attendance (despite the fact that he has done all the work to date). I know what you mean about friends and family not getting it, often I choose not to share, simply because it is more bothersome. The trouble is people put such great store by the success of their kids in school and when there are problems they don't know what to say. In fact, my Mum the other day literally said she didn't know what to talk to AS about, if it wasn't about school or college (but then she was a teacher!)

Relaxation - it's not that easy! Especially, if you know that when DS is outside the home things may not be going well and inside the home (if he is anything like my son) while he is awake he interrupts all the time. OH and I often do relaxing things separately, sadly. It helps to keep us sane, but isn't ideal. Other things that work are when we are with family (unfortunately they all live at a distance so this only happens once in a while). He is occupied by them and we can spend time together.

Anyway, you know where to find me if you need to vent.

Thanks for your reply Blue lizard. He is 13 so every year at Secondary has been affected by COVID. Before lockdown he managed to attend, but from when homeschooling started it was difficult and engagement was difficult as he couldn't cope with us helping. However when he had done what he could re school he did benefit from not having to be his chronological age.

Yes on return the experience was similar to yours. A whole week in school was a rarity, but as we live nearby he sometimes went in later. At first he got into difficulty and his anxiety was not understood. After regular emails and conversations with school they understood better. Then last year he started hiding in school but it wasn't until he arrived one day on our doorstep that things improved. We now have regular contact from a TA who also checks if he doesn't arrive at a lesson. Yes I do see similarities as DS avoids challenges and won't ask for help.

It must have been difficult for your DS with exams and the new challenge of college. Hope he is able to get some support.

In respect of your comments about relaxation, yes I see similarities. We have managed a walk in the sun today and a relaxing coffee. (Want to put a walrus -loved that).😃