July 8, 2021 14:21
I think the answer Social Workers want to hear is you will politely say the child is adopted and 'we are their parents'. I get the impression these questions are asked to gauge your comfortableness towards people realising your LGBTQ+.
In reality 5 years into adoption with our son as a same sex male couple we have not had this question once. Maybe it is because we adopted our son when he was older (7) but people just dont tend to put thier foot in it.
Our son is very unashamably open about having 2 male parents and the first few times you get outed is a little strange but you get used to it. I think trying to network with other LGBTQ+ people has help our son and would recommend it.
August 24, 2021 09:23
I have this question even when I’m alone - it’s quite infuriating! Being a man with a child is such a rarity and it’s embarrassing for them and for you.
I often just tell them I’m gay and leave it at that, they are often appalled with themselves then for asking.
If they then probe further I now just let my son tell them. He is small enough to have no filter and therefore just tells everybody his whole life story (his birth parents couldn’t look after him and he went to live with a foster carer and then daddy and dadda came to get him.)
When he was really little I would just say he was adopted and leave it at that - occasionally they would probe for a back story and then I would just say that it’s his story and not mine.
We haven’t been offended that often - to be honest it’s quite rare!