Archived Forums

Hello,I have not written here before either, and although me and my husband have been members for 6 months I am only just reading the message boards. We are no further on in our adoption journey than you, but my husband has the chronic condition, cystic fibrosis and is on Disability Living Allowance.We did have an initial social worker meeting back in September and were pleasently suprised to not get an automatic 'no' regarding the CF. From what I can understand, the fact he is on benefits plays no part in the decision, what matters is that he is relatively fit and well and health is stable, and that we have a good support network in place for times when he's not well/stable. And at the moment he is.How are things going with your form filling? It would be great to hear how things are going for you both.gk1000

We finally had our initial home visit today! It went fantastically though, and due to us wanting to adopt siblings over the age of 4 our assessor is going to try and fasttrack our application.We were upfront about everything, and she was very happy, had no quarms about passing us. I am in rude health right now, and we have been fine financially for over 2 years since I stopped work.All in all, very positive and exciting. Next wait is for the forms to come through, and the checks to begin

I haVE A NEURO DISORRRDER SIMILAR TO MS, AAATAXIA I AM IN A WHEELCHAIR WE HAVE A 5 AND 7 YR OLD SO THERE IS HOPE, JUST DONT TAKE ON TOO MUCH

Hi Just wondering how your adoption process is going?I do am doing the same. I have adopted before but that was prior to my diagnosis of MS.Good Luck!

Hi friends,haven't been on for a while so sorry about delay in my reply.References have been sent in, medical examinations done, and our LA child medical officer has written to my consultant to see my notes. Just waiting now.Am still in good health, getting massages now because I had a sore neck and shoulders. My massage lady discovered a build up of toxins over my shoulder blades and around my hips that have stuck and gone hard (I felt them too and they made me go a bit ), also got a slightly twisted muscle that has been affecting my walking gait, I thought it was just the MS.Moral of this is to go see a good massage therapist if you have a longterm health condition, because you may have curable things that you are putting up with, thinking they are part of your illness!Back to waiting

I adopted 8 years ago now. I have a medical condition called Marfan syndrome. When I first applied to adopt, i was informed, no, wait until you have your heart surgery (at that time heart surgery wasnt even being mentioned). Several years later, after i had had the heart surgery, we tried again. It was a very long drawn out process, attending training that was absolutely useless. Then waiting another 2 years after that before we got our son. He is now 9 years old, and has emotional problems, he struggles with the social aspect of school. He is fine at home though. We are waiting for him to be assessed for disorders such as autism too, we have been waiting nearly 2 years. I love him to bits, but adoption is not very easy, even after you have adopted.

Hi I realise this reply is a long time coming but I have Ms and take beta interferon and have just been approved today by panel. Hooray!!Initially we were rejected by a L A before we had even formally applied because of my MS even though my neurologist and their medical officer didn't think there would be a problem but because the SW who admitted she knew nothing about the disease had looked into her crystal ball. She actually said that to us!We then went to a V A who laughed at this reaction and accepted us straight away. All I can say is it's the LA s loss!Good luck to anyone who isn't quite perfect it is possible to be approved!

Hi everyone.I have just joined and was really encouraged by some of your posts. We have been trying to adopt for some time now. I have RRMS and it seems like our LA are scared of the MS. They have never dealt with a parent with MS wanting to adopt and it feels like we aren't getting anywhere.We have completed the prep course, had the medicals and all of the assessments, but still have not progressed.Does anyone have any advice that might help us? We have a meeting with our SW and manager soon and want to be prepared.Thanks

If you've got through all that I can't see what the hold up is?Must be very frustrating for you indeedIn my experience people tend to see my impairment before they see me.In my opinion, you are going to be a very adaptable flexibly minded person just by virtue of living with a disabling conditionThis is a HUGE ASSET in adoption I doubt the ss are seeing it that way and perhaps need this spelling out to them.Get that support network running well too The very best

Hi thereWe have had our meeting and it was quite positive. There is still a way to go though.I wanted to know if anyone who has adopted with MS would share some information with us?We need to know where anyone who has been approved lives and what agency it went through. It would really help.Thanksxxxx

It is nice to read that people are going through the process with MS. My DH has MS and we have been experiencing some uncertainty regarding it because our LA has never had anybody that is disabled apply. My DH has PPMS and is a wheelchair, but it hasn´t stopped him from bring up our BD at all and we don´t understand why it should cause a problem with an AD. I guess it just the unknown for the LA that is causing the problems.We are waiting now to hear if we are going to have our initial assesement, we have had two home visists but they wouldn´t got any further until we had spoken to other people who had adopted. This we have now done.Good Luck everyone.

Hi there. I am 28 and was diagnosed with MS 2 years ago. I have had one relapse, but otherwise been fine. My DH has no health issues. I work full time and had 6 cycles of IVF. I have been struggling with trying to convince my LA that we should be allowed to progress. I have had my initial visit, medical and a follow up visit. We have been accepted and are going on the parent & loss day next month and the prep course in June which is great! All of this has taken us 6 months and I know it is going to take a long time!I have been lucky with my SW as she is trying to help us as much as she can and give us a chance. She says that we have to focus on our positives - we are young, good jobs, I am doing fine with my health, I have a good support network and and getting lots of childcare experience.It is frustrating that we have to keep proving ourselves, not only that we can be good parents for adoption, but I can cope with my health and that we have a good enough support network etc.All I can say is keep going. I will not let them put me off, I want to be a parent and I will become a parent.Good luck all! x

Hi I just to say we have managed to adopt a 4 year old boy in January. I have had MS for 15 years and am healthy but it was impossible to convince the LA social workers that I wouldn't become ill and turn any child into a child carer! My husband has no health issues. We eventually turned to a voluntary agency who treated us with kindness and respect, particularly our SW who was wonderfulIt is important to emphasise your support network and show that you are healthy eg I play tennis. I also did loads of childcare experience. Just remember it isn't just a case of being approved you have to compete for children as well, there are always younger more perfect couples out there so we did everything we could to "dilute" my MSWe have only had our little boy for 10 weeks but it's like he's been with us forever. Just to let you know that it was worth the 3 years it took to get approved and all the times I was angry and frustrated by the ill informed comments of the LA social workers.DON'T GIVE IN and if necessary choose a voluntary agency good luck

Good AfternoonWe are started the process in October 2012, we attended the information evening in November 2012 and have had three home visits, the last one being in Feb 2013. After chasing our agency we finally got the report that had been written, it was very complementary and they said we had a lot to offer a child. It said we could proceed but that our support network would have to be looked into, however it was sent with a letter that said, we would be sent an application form when they had a child that met our requirements ie a child 2-5 yrs ideally a girl. This we found very difficult to understand, we are constantly being told there is a shortage of adopters, yet we can not proceed because out agency doesn´t have any. I was surprised that this was the case because I understand that it is going to take at least a further 8 months, may be longer because my DH has MS and the medical and other infomation may take time to collect. Which by the time this has all happened they may have a child that does match, or we could adopt from another area. Apparently, agencies do close their books if they don´t have matching children and it is a case of waiting.Good Luck everyone.

Hi Dopey,I have just read your post and if I were you I would change agency. We had exactly the same experience as you , our La thought we were fabulous then they kept us waiting 18 months to process my medical form before they turned us down ( I have benign MS that is no symptoms for 10 years). Some agencies due to a lack of funding will only train the couples who are most likely to be approved.We went to Cabrini a voluntary agency who are more likely to accept people with health conditions. They don't have any children but we got our son via the be my parent website. The whole process with Cabrini from first phone call to bringing our son home was less than 2 years. Please put a time scale on how long you are prepared to wait before you move agency, we wasted 18 months.Good luck.

Hi RosemeisterThank you for your advice.I find it very frustrating that this happens to people with MS or other conditions similar, I can only put it down to lack of knowledge/experience of LA dealing with these conditions.I have actually approached another agency now from the neighbouring county, they appear quite positive and say they have lots of children within the age range we are looking at.I have completed the initial form and now again have to wait to see if they reply by inviting us to another information evening. We have to start the whole process again, so here we go.