Public Forums

Feeling desperate. Our 15yo AS is driving us to distraction. He hates being in our house - he comes home to eat and sleep, but the rest of the time is wandering the streets or in the flat of someone we are really not sure is at all trustworthy. We think he is experimenting with drugs and alcohol, and are concerned he is at risk of grooming. He is secretive and deceitful with us, and steals a range of items - we no longer keep cash in the house, a few weeks ago a diamond necklace went missing, although we offered him an out on that, saying it would be really lovely if it were found in the house somewhere, and it mysteriously turned up again a bit later. Any behaviour agreements drawn up are simply ignored, and there are very few sanctions we can apply to a 6 footer (I am 5ft 2!). Even food - we have just eaten the last two pop tarts from a pack of six boxes, most of which we found empty. The family agreement had been that we open a box of six as a family, but once the box was open anyone could have them. Yes, it's only pop tarts, but it is indicative of the utter contempt he holds for household rules. Yet on the other hand, he still demonstrates his love for us while proclaiming his hatred. When there was a violent assault near our house, his first thought was to phone me and tell me not to go out for my planned run until it was safe. Unfortunately his second was to go straight along to the scene... And today he is in inclusion at school (again!) but begged to be allowed to do the cookery practical first lesson, as he knew he had upset me this morning and wanted to bring the profiteroles home to say sorry. We now have a social worker who I think will be putting him as the highest level of risk and need of intervention. But I just feel broken. I am pouring out all the love I can, and am just getting so much hatred and hostility in return. He is even worse with his dad. I think I just needed to vent to people who understand, but if anyone has any tips or ideas I would be so grateful!