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Welcome to the year 11 secondary school prom season!!

Simon June 9, 2023 12:17

Hi all!

The adoptive parent survival guide to year 11 prom

Many adoptive parents are jittery at the moment as their year 6 children attend their secondary school transition days. But, spare a thought for year 11 adoptive parents at the other end of the education system i.e. whose 16 year olds who are about to embark on the prom season.

When and where did this prom malarkey come from? I left the 5th year of my comprehensive school in 1985; we signed each others white school shirts (I've still got mine), burnt our exercise books in the park and went home!

For me prom goes against all the things I hold dear as an adoptive parent: quiet, small, close, structured, gentle, friendships and all things therapeutic.

From day one of the year 11 Autumn term back in September last year; the talk from our teenagers has been prom, prom, prom: "what to wear", "if she is going, I'm not going", "I don't have a girlfriend", "my outfit is better than yours", "I look fat in my outfit", "acne", "we need an open top car" "who will do my nails, hair and make-up?" and "can I have a sleepover on prom night!!!!"

For our children (and I guess for other adoptive children too), for whom many sadly are already carrying so much additional baggage and anxiety from their early childhood trauma and with "cups full/overflowing" after the GCSE exam season; the whole bang crash wallop of prom somehow just feeds into their already heightened anxiety.

I look forward to the end of the prom season and normality is resumed. Our long and complex adoption journey continues . . .

Good luck to all year 11 adoptive families at this time - the end is in sight.

Take care



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