Public Forums

Lots on Potato too: https://thepotatogroup.org.uk/

I have to say I had a really bad experience with the freeforums group a few years ago and would not go back....bullying and cover ups....sad really....

Serrakunda,

who runs this?

It's run by adopters, I've been on it since it started, the first time AUK changed the forums.

I'm aware of the issue Bop is referring to but I've never had any problems on that site, I think most forums encounter problems from time to time, I can only assure you and anyone else that its a supportive site with a number of old AUK people on there.

Thanx Serrakunda

Just wanted to add that I was ‘passed ‘ for the Potato Group but I was put off because I ended up paying for a (very expensive) cake and coffee for my ‘interviewer’ as part of the interview process. My family and I are currently (due to adoption-related issues) subsisting on Universal Credit so we really do not have pennies spare to buy cake for strangers who have well-paid full-time, professional jobs in order for us to be able to access appropriate peer support,

Furcifer - the interview process, as you describe it, is simply a way of ensuring the safety and security of group members. Other fb groups have been accessed by people who aren’t who they say they are so this is the reason.

Well paid professionals? Hmm. Maybe so in a previous life but the majority, if not all, have one at least one non working parent - who’ve had to leave well paid jobs in order to be at home for their kids, teens. Those who do work are rarely in those well paid, professional jobs any longer. No-one is paid on Potato. It’s all voluntary.

I don’t know what happened with the cake and coffee but I’m sure if you email Potato then they will refund you.

Hi Donatella, yes, I totally understand re: the voluntary status of Potato Group volunteers. Maybe I was feeling a little bit churlish and cheesed off when I posted (generally feeling at the end of my rope) but I do feel it is valid feedback for anyone else who is in a financially vulnerable position and considering joining.

It put me off and I’m sad about that, but the nearly tenner it cost me to be interviewed was a significant chunk out of my family’s weekly food budget. I hear you regarding those of us who’ve fallen on hard times after adopting; I had a stellar career prior to becoming an adoptive parent but now I am at home full-time of necessity and we are a single-parent family dependent on Universal Credit (no adoption allowances here in our cash-starved borough).

No, here neither re AA. Managed to hold onto my marriage but now have three teenagers, two with additional needs - one of whom wants to go to uni - and the other already in uni. And I haven’t worked for 18 years. Our 3rd child was child specific - we were asked to adopt her. Still no AA though ?.

I do understand. I’m now 60 and still parenting whilst my peers are retiring, becoming grandparents. They’re free ... I’m still doing the education stuff, the statement reviews, DLA/PIP ... and dealing with some awfully clueless people

My dogs and gin ? are my saviours!

I’m allergic to dogs and I can’t abide the old Mother’s Ruin (sadly) ?. I hear you re: being an older parent; I was asked to take on my second @ 50! I love her and she is sparky and brilliant and completes our family but it is so hard being an older parent, especially as my eldest child is now registered blind, having lost her sight a year ago.

I hope I didn’t cause offence regarding the Potato Group - that was not my intention. I seem to have lost my filter since the menopause! That and being the parent to two adoptive girls with their own idiosyncratic issues and difficulties and I don’t seem to have the patience to be as circumspect in my online utterances any more. I’m a nice person in real life, honest!

I have been put off joining groups because I find it difficult to access so much stuff as a single working parent on a low income. So many Facebook groups have activities that are only accessible whilst children are at school or presume you have a partner or babysitter. I haven't joined Adoption UK because I would pay an annual fee but can't access any training. I went to a Home for Good event (which was brilliant) because they had childcare facilities but mine is now a teenager and too old! I liked these forums for their anonymity compared to Facebook but rarely visit now as it's dead! I do miss hearing how people are getting on.

Perhaps I should join a menopause support group!

Furcifer - sorry to hear of your financial struggles. I hope you have looked into applying for Disability Living Allowance for one or both of your children, which would also entitle you to Carer’s Allowance. These benefits have made a huge difference to our lives.