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My mid teen AD has done some art therapy and we have seen some small shifts. I think the idea was that in doing free, messy things, and being encouraged to 'stay with them' she would find it easier to deal with 'messy' things in her brain (ie trauma). It wasn't a long stint, but we appreciated it. We were referred by our VA. x

Thanks for this - not sure what VA is though? x

VA is short for Voluntary [adoption] Agency When you say your daughter has lots of contact with birth family, presumably this is unofficial? Our son has contact with a member of birth family but its supervised. Have you asked for ASF funding for therapy? Maybe something more suitable could be arranged? Other people will know more, but I was under the impression that play therapy is not just for younger children. The CAMHS nurse who comes to our home to see our son mentioned to DH and I that he is going to find out about art therapy for our AS. He said the therapists are experts on trauma. This had never been mentioned before. It was as if they keep it up their sleeves for when things get more tricky. Nurse has been working on strategies AS can use to calm himself down when he feels angry so that's a bit more basic. Consultant at CAMHS we saw at beginning of summer hols asked me if AS knew he was adopter (!!!) So awareness of lifestory work non existent. To be fair English was not his first language so it seemed he was not very aware of adoption issues in this country!! Have you seen, AUK conf this year is on life story. Maybe worth going to?

Do you live in England? You can apply for different types of therapy via post adoption support to the adoption support fund and bypass camhs completely

In our experience ours were not open to any sort of therapy at that sort of age and pushed every boundary they could (including contact with birth family) - as you have said it was a really tough stage. However as they matured things calmed down again and one at least is now considering some therapeutic stuff. I don't think you can force therapy - they have to want to pursue it for it to be effective.

Mine is having art therapy with a specialist service for people with learning difficulties who have experienced trauma and it’s working well - when she was at school - a special school - she had art therapy with someone who had a lot of experience working with adopted and looked after children (purely by chance) - again it seemed to go really well and only stopped when she finished school. My AD has always been willing to engage with therapy but not able to do talking therapy because of her learning difficulties. Would she do art therapy? There’s also drama / music therapy to consider - would she be able to discuss it with you?

I totally agree with Bop - we did have to do a wee bit of persuasion, but our girl went into it willingly and I think that made all the difference. x

My son aged 15 has just started to see a counsellor not sure what they talk about I know some of it is about his feelings towards being adopted which he hates. He is their as I type just picked a fight before session so Iam probarbly focus tonight Parenting troubled teens is so tough I am also mum to a 24 year old who was not bad teenager my son scares me with his lies sometimes

My very troubled 14.5 year old had DDP for the first time when she was 12 and wouldn't engage at all. She liked to talk but not about anything significant and we all felt she just wasn't ready. We started again 12 months ago and spent a long time with sessions being hijacked by school trauma. We kept persevering mainly because nothing else offered us hope. Now she is out of school altogether the DDP sessions are really beginning to come into their own. It's hard work and slow, and just about never directly about the big things at the root of all the behaviours (which sometimes really frustrates my DH) but slowly slowly she is beginning to make new connections, and verbalise things she has never been able to verbalise before, and begin to understand herself better. We are really hoping this coming year will see even more of an improvement, now she feels so much safer on a day to day basis. Our DDP includes all three of us, has been funded through the Adoption Support Fund and is in my opinion far superior for a child with attachment-related issues to anything offered by our local CAMHS, who really only offer very basic counselling, some art therapy and medication, and don't seem to understand adoption at all. I don't know how that compares with the talk-based therapy you have received, but it is worth pursuing via the ASF if you think it sounds different to whatever you have experienced so far. The other thing we were offered at one point was Equine Therapy, which can apparently be good for kids who really don't want to talk. We were only offered a six-week block and I couldn't see what difference that would make so I didn't pursue it at the time. ASF funding (if you're in England) should cover that too if you think it might be right for you.

Our dd was 14 / 15 when we had therapy at an adoption agency. I don't know if it has a name (probably) but we had sessions just for us as parents and then sessions where dd came too. It was very gentle - lots of games and letting dd go at her own pace. Dd had had psychotherapy for some time at CAMHS prior to this. She never wanted to talk to the therapist and was always defensive. He would play games / do activities with her and make suggestions as to how she felt about things. In the end he asked me to go too as she wouldn't open up about her life or feelings and I tried to facilitate that as I knew what had been happening. I'm not sure it "worked" although dd did become better at explaining her feelings, something she then found very difficult. But she also got older and matured through the process so hard to say what was the affect of the therapy. But at the adoption agency she was keen to go. They gave her their undivided attention and she loved that. They accepted her as she was and never tried to push her into saying or doing anything. We had to join in the games etc so it was a bonding experience. They commented on issues that arose and used visuals to help her talk about feelings, bodily reactions to events etc. They also did life story work. I found it frustratingly slow but dd was certainly engaged and I'd say it definitely improved her relationship with us. I think just going with her all those times made her feel more valued for one thing. Dd had had constant problems with her behaviour at school so most meetings we had with school were quite negative from her point of view which must have been very detrimental to her self view. Since finishing the therapy about 18 months ago, things have been much more settled with dd. She's also much more reflective about her reactions and feelings and understanding about relationships. The agency would probably say they saved our family and kept us together - it never felt that we would lose dd to us but we are certainly in a better place. We got referred through post adoption and funded by the ASF although this was prior to the funding being capped and I think it all cost a lot more than the funds would cover now.

Equestrian therapy has been the only thing that was at all accessed by our AD blossom Partridge went to see a chiropractor to help with his posture. He wouldn’t see a therapist at all. It was very positive

I too can vouch for horses , AS1 would never have gone to any sort of therapy, but ordinary riding lessons were a real positive for my AS1. ( and I know of a girl in Long Term Foster care who has hugely benefitted from lessons and from helping at a stables) It seems to help " ground them if that makes sense. AS2, who is long backed, has benefitted from visits to osteopath ( similar to chiropractor) He went to help muscle pain but actually was helped in other ways too, by the whole approach therapeutic approach.

Thanks for all the comments and suggestions - I haven't had a chance to look until now as we have a new challenge - complete school refusal - aargh nightmare. So now our AD has rejected therapy, rejected school and is trying to reject us and return to BF. It all feels hopeless. She did go horse riding but lost interest. Art therapy might help if she got on with the therapist. I think her problems are 'pre-verbal' so therapy also needs to access that part of the brain. Family Futures website makes total sense but I've heard it costs £12k for their treatment! A bit beyond ASF methinks....