Edited 17/02/2021
solutions for an escapee
loadsofbubs
September 22, 2012 12:55
so small bubs is an escapee, not a big problem I guess, except once free, if not supervised, she is not able to keep herself safe and is not safe left alone squishyness.so problem one: she can now open every stair gate in the house except one on the playroom to kitchen (is turned backwards so hard even for me to open!). this means she can even open the dog gate on her bedroom door so she is escaping her room and wandering the house at night and while i am in the shower in the morning. i cant leave her to wander unsupervised becoz she goes downstairs (can open kitchen gate and access everything in there-can climb cabinets and access knives/glasses etc) and becoz she also climbs into the cot with squishyness and hurts her, not deliberately but is too young to understand how rough she is. so this morning i have put a hook latch on her bedroom door, which i know is frowned on, with good reason, but i need to keep her and squishyness safe. need to break this to the ss next week! unless anyone has a better idea, bearing in mind i am a single carer and due to severe hormonal fluctuations due to age i NEED to shower in the morning even if i have done so at night as well! and due to the sleep deprivation of having a tiny bubs i often dont hear her until she is free and wandering.other problem is the car seat. she can escape any 5 point harness on the market (I''ve probably tried everyone!), she can undo a houdini strap so thats useless now, she can escape the harness with a 5 point plus, the kiddi pro range of car seats she can climb out of in less than three seconds flat (supposedly escape proof). even with someone in the back seat (usually not an option as i am a single carer) she will escape the harness and climb out. it IS as tight as it can possibly go. she has had 18 months of constant reinforcement to NOT do this but still does. so i am now out of ideas beyond stopping the car every couple minutes, which isn''t really that practical tho is what is happening at the moment, or letting her completely loose on the back seat which is obviously extremely dangerous not to mention illegal! I need help with this one, I''m out of solutions legal or otherwise. how can i safely transport her in the car? not using the car is also not a practical option and wouldn''t teach her anything anyway. she simply hasnt been able to learn that she needs to be strapped in to stay safe, her development is delayed so she just cannot be reasoned with on this.
Donatella
September 22, 2012 13:43
I too had one of those! The car thing was a nightmare. On one memorable occasion he not only undid his 5 point harness but also little sis. I only realised when I braked and she tumbled head first out of her seat.I resorted to something called a clip it but don't know if they're still available and always had him in the front with me with the air bag switched off. Divide and conquer.And as for escaping, I tried to keep him with me as much as possible so that would have meant having him in the bathroom with me, with the door locked. Or in the shower with me but that's probably not doable for you.When he got older we had a stick on alarm on the kitchen door as he used to sneak down and into the kitchen at night time. Couldn't put it on his door as he wanted the door open and it was a contact alarm.Didn't tell him. Only ever went off once, shocked him and he never did it again.
Edited 17/02/2021
Pear Tree
September 22, 2012 14:11
It sounds like you are doing everything possibleThe therapeutic process they tried with blossom is to fill her up with lovely times and give her a safe adrenaline rush activity every dayShes too needy for thatSo they manage her behaviourally which Inc rewards and sanctions but mainly not setting her up to fail so lots of supervision and techniques like big versions of what you're doingAlso giving her 10 mins wander off time as long as she's back by such a pointCould you adapt this for a little one?A couple of approaches to try anyway! Bar razor wire and machine gun towers I don't know what else you can do
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loadsofbubs
September 22, 2012 19:13
sadly the keeping sb with me all the time isn't doable no, not allowed to have her in the bathroom with me (tho she does follow me in to teh downstairs loo (cant keep her out!) but showering would be a step too far for my safe caring policy and the ss!!might try having her on the front seat of the car tho, hadn't thought of that as a permanent solution. she was there the other day as the car was stacked full of stuff and actually didn't try escaping. AS wouldn't be too chuffed to be demoted to the back seat though!! but that does sound like a senisble option and one worth trying. she's not here for much longer () so only it needs to work for a couple of months !! she has some wandering time but where ever she wanders it has to be somewhere safe and supervised, she's too young and lacking in self help skills (in terms of keeping herself safe) to wander completely freely anywhere really. and we definitely do the lots of activity thing! thanks for those though. she's gone straight to sleep tonight with the hook on, morning will be the tester, am confident she wont be happy about it!
Edited 17/02/2021
loadsofbubs
September 22, 2012 22:15
it's only good fortune that i haven't mounted a pavement yet! I am turning round every 30 seconds or so to check she's still strapped in! so sitting on the front seat would be safer! sb doesn't undo the clips on the seat straps yet (just on the houdini straps), hasn't quite got teh skill for that, but she can slip the straps and then climb out of them!, she's so skinny too and only got realy short legs! maybe thats part of her ease of removal, the shorter than average arms and legs? who knows?!
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taznmaple
September 23, 2012 09:27
Can absolutely sympathise with where you are!One thought for the car is a special needs harness - we very nearly ended up getting one for Dizzy as he would unstrap himself and Pickle - terrifying. He was in an adult seatbelt as he was too big to fit in a 5point harness.I think they were called Crewell Harnesses - am sure somebody on here knows about them.
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frayedmomma
September 23, 2012 10:38
we used the in car safety centre and bought special needs car seats for our 2.they are also taxied with a harness on.try:http://www.incarsafetycentre.co.uk/catalog/index.php/cPath/31?osCsid=nqoeae4kc3ld177mtki0tk3724would the chest clip or cummerband work?for stairgates we got:http://www.bambinodirect.co.uk/Lindam_FlexiGuard____44372/version.asp?refsource=BAfroogle&gclid=COL68oOzy7ICFaTKtAodrFsA6wthey don't open like a traditional gate so you do have to step over it each time, but it kept ours in the room we needed. hth, FM
Edited 17/02/2021
loadsofbubs
September 23, 2012 15:21
unfortunately sb can open the type of clip on the chest clip and is too small for the cumberband, a littl over 11kg only. and i'm too short for a climb over stair gate (though sb is an accomplished climber and probably could do this!! might be that the seat with the chest clip covered could work and i'll direct new parents to it when she eventually moves on. have had her on the front seat today and no attempts to escape, but too early to say if this is an ongoing improvement or fluke!!
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oatybix
September 24, 2012 20:02
I completely sympathise- my DS did not stop the extremes of this behaviour until he was around 6- these days he is undafe in other ways (jumping of bridges, out of lofts etc) but seems to understand about car seats. I did have to avoid putting him in a car for almost a year- not fun.I slept on his floor (often with DS2 beside me!) for several years and showered with him, but I know you can't do this.No advice, but you deserve a medal!!
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loadsofbubs
September 25, 2012 08:37
thanks oaty I acccept it graciously!! it would certainly be easier if fostering safe caring rules were less rigid but they are there for a purpose and its not worth the risk to my reputation or career choice to bend them that much. i do bend some with sb but only becoz picking them as battles to fight causes more problems than forcing the issue. so she regularly climbs onto my bed and even inside it. fortunatley her language skills being delayed means she cant say 'I've been playing games in LOBs bed and i had no clothes on' (which actually means she has been getting dressed, run off and jumped in and under before i can catch her!! we dress downstairs now!). did another trip in the car yesterday and apart from the usual paddy about getting into the car seat she stayed strapped in. dont want to count chickens but it seems to be working for now. fingers crossed!
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Donatella
September 25, 2012 11:46
Lobs, my two youngest are now 6 and 8 and are an absolute nightmare in the car. In fact, so bad that we are now in the process of changing to a 7 seater because they cannot be within touching distance.Middly did eventually stop trying to escape but because he and his sister constantly fight in the car driving can still be hazardous. I still regularly have to pull over to break them up. Have been oh so tempted on so many occasions to just dump them on the side of the road and drive away
Edited 17/02/2021
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