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Hi Raven,

Yes the boards certainly aren't what they used to be - not very many experienced adopters seem to be around these days.

I have no direct experience but did not want to read and run. My only suggestion would be to talk to your LA about wanting to foster. I would have thought that as you do not have young children at home, have had a period of time since the disruption to process what happened and to heal and also that you are only looking to foster pre-school children - this would all go in your favour. the only thing i can think of that may concern the LA is the possibility of your AD coming home either for visits or to stay for short periods of time - as i think the LA would worry about any violence being directed at the foster child.

sorry i can't be of more help.

Best wishes xxx

Thank you so much Windfalls, a lot of the names I recall seem to be absent from these boards.

I've posted on a closed social media & a few people who have been through disruption have then found that fostering wasnt an option the LA would consider.

We have so much to offer a child or young sibling group & a wealth of experience under our belt. Our adopted daughter doesn't come to stay. Although her violent tendencies have decreased whilst living in her placement we dont feel able or willing to take that risk.

Our birth daughter (now 18) bears the physical scars from the attacks she sustained from our AD. She tried to stab her on two separate occasions & then made allegations against us all. (She has a track record of allegations against teachers too)

It's too risky, so visits wouldn't be on the cards.

I only hope that an independent agency or LA would be able to consider all aspects. I have a feeling we might fail at the first hurdle.

Thanks again Windfalls

X

Our children (16 and 17) are still in residence, but we would also like to foster a child (as young as possible, maybe to give parents respite) both because we have got a lot of experience now and feel we are now pretty well qualified to help and support them, but also because it would give confidence to our younger daughter, who likes to help others but is too anxious to face the outside world herself at present. We applied to a therapeutic agency, but were rejected when they obtained our records from the local council - we have had some very unhelpful (understatement!) interventions over the years, but with the help of therapeutic parenting, have made a lot of progress. We are in the process of trying to get the council's inaccurate records revised ... I have only recently re-joined AUK, and was pleased to see your post, as it has made me feel that my ambition is not ridiculous! Having had 'respite' in earlier years, rather than having inappropriate behaviour-management training foisted on us, would have been hugely advantageous so, to be honest, this is what I would most like to do!

Hi - we were thinking the same when our children were about that age. Though not respite - in the end decided it would be too disruptive and unsettling to have a child join our family and then have to leave, possibly suddenly. However respite would be different and as you explain it has a very positive feel for your family. Have you thought of applying to a private agency and giving them a heads up about information from your LA? It would be such a shame if they didn’t consider you at least as it sounds as if you have a lot to offer. Don’t give up!

THANK YOU! That has given me just the encouragement I need today! :-)