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firstly congratulations To be honest many families feel a bit disappointed by the court hearing because there really isnt that much to it. There is nothing to 'perform' as such, nothing legal about it, its just an opportunity to mark the end of the process. I'm glad we did it, we had a lovely time because my son was much older and wanted his day in court, but it was really only a small part of the day for us. You don't actually need to have a celebration hearing in court. You could just have a party at home or somewhere else of your choosing and either you or someone close to you just say a few words. Our day was 20 minutes in court, judge said a few nice things about families, few piccies taken with my son wearing her wig and banging the gavel. The judge gave him a little adoption day teddy bear and a certificate but it was just something produced in the office, home for cake and balloons, special lunch with the grandparents, afternoon of garden games and then in the evening we went out for pizza with our best friends.

As Serrakunda said, it is just a bit of show. Our judge hardly said anything, basically just "congratulations and here are your adoption certificates" (they were not legal ones, just for the kids to have something to show). Then we had several pictures taken. Finished. I am glad we did it because of the pictures and for my children to remember. However, for them the party we had afterwards was more important.

Our children were toddlers so very little awareness of what was going on - the judge just basically asked a couple of questions and checked the spellings of their names - he didn’t do anything special. We had tea and cake with the social workers at home then went to the zoo for the rest of the day (though it wasn’t that long as the zoo was over an hour away and it was November so closed early)

Celebration day was the opportunity to say to the SW's, "Don't let the door hit you on the way out". After five months of weekly supervision visits because our children were "so hard to place" and the ensuing micromanagement of everything we did as parents, frankly I couldn't stand the sight of them for a minute longer and neither could the children. Anyway.... Just about half an hour in the court, a 10 minute hearing, some teddies and a certificate for the children, a chance to dress them up in party dresses and suits and a trip to the local Costa afterwards as that was about the limit of what they could manage back then. The next day was the start of the rest of our lives. We never celebrate adoption day, the children don't want to. They feel as if they were always meant to be here.

Here in Scotland there is no celebration hearing. We were at the final hearing in both cases as no birth family were going to be there. The councils lawyer basically said to the sheriff ( i.e. Magistrate) " you have read the notes and we consider adoption the right course" and the sheriff agreed and announced them formally adopted. He agreed we could take a photo in the court room ( our two wanted to be photographed standing in the dock ! ) The Sheriff said it wasn't often people were pleased at his decisions, and he joked to my youngest that he would set his pocket money amount by law ( and my son looked distinctly worried by this ! ) We went for refreshments with both social workers in both cases because all ours had been very supportive. Younger one's SW had kept him on her books despite two job moves, so he got continuity during all his moves in foster care. Elder ones SW came up from England she was so chuffed he had finally got adopted. Ours were older however. And we don't celebrate it now. It was a one-off. They are now our sons so we celebrate birthdays and Christmas. Do what feels right for you. Everyone is different.

We had 15 minutes in court, I don't know why your local court can't do it, there's nothing much to it other than a judge turning up. We had family in court and were allowed to take pics plus son allowed to sit in judge's chair, and he was given a teddy bear. The other day he asked if we could go to court again, which was mainly about being given a teddy bear. He was 7. I'm really glad we did it. We invited a few family and friends and followed up with a meal in pizza express. There are all kinds of little details from the day which have stuck with him.

We had about half an hour in the family court. The judge was lovely, let LO and cousins try on wigs and they all posed for photos. We were a small gathering of extended family and afterwards had a tea party. Granddaughter was given a certificate to mark the day. She's too young to remember, but the certificate and photos will go.in her life story books. We all thought it was a nice occasion to celebrate becoming family.

Second time around (2018) we had about 45 mins in court ,where the judge was lovely ,pictures with him and he said a little speech. No certificate or teddy this time around. Incredibly it was the same judge as the first time around 12 years ago!

We are just planning ours now. I have a family portrait gift certificate still from my last birthday, so planning to get that done after the trip to the court. Then back home or to a restaurant for meal/small party with extended family. We will treat ourselves to some new Sunday best I think. Not sure how much the children will understand.

Could you get your SW to have a word with local court and brief them on what to say. Brief being the operative word ;-) On the other hand IMO the journey to nearby town would be worth it. We had a similar journey time with a 5 year old who sounds very similar! Only this week we used a photo of the court day for life story work. He didn't remember any of it and I had to remind him we went to Build a Bear afterwards so he rushed upstairs to get the dog he chose to show the life story therapist. We never celebrated adoption only his birthday but a few years ago he announced he wanted to celebrate when he came to this family ( ie the day he was placed) with a meal out and cake. I was interested that he didn't mention presents! He genuinely just wanted to celebrate not an excuse for presents!