I have an AS who is 3 and we are starting to talk about the fact that he is adopted, using books and stories etc. He is obviously too young to really understand but I have always been very sure that I wanted him to always know that he was adopted, so thought best to speak about this early on as and when it might come up.
The longer he is placed with me the greater our attachment and the more I love him and feel absolutely that I am his Mummy.
I didn't anticipate this but I am finding it really hard to refer to anyone else as his Mum/Dad/Birth Mum etc. I totally appreciate that it was someone else who gave birth to him, but I can't get over the feeling that she was never his mummy. He was taken into care very early on and there is very little evidence that his birth parents provided any care to him. I am the only person that he has known as Mummy and he knows that Mummy is someone who loves and cares for him. I can't help but think that it might be confusing to speak of another mum/mummy who had a very different role.
Has anyone else felt like this? Do you have any suggestions of how I can speak about his birth parents without using the terms mum/dad/birth mum etc? I realise that some people people may feel that I should just accept that his birth parents were/are his mum and dad, but other than biology, they didn't ever behave like his mum and dad and I am struggling with this.