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Toilet training

Newmummy September 25, 2019 14:51

Hi all,

We are a few weeks into toilet training our 3, almost 4 year old - they've been with us 6 months.

We have moved away from pull ups, as we felt were too close to nappies & were confusing.

I just wondered how long it takes for the signals, for needing a wee to develop, in your collective experiences? They become very resistant to any prompting from us, to try going for a wee!! We are having quite alot of success on the toilet & potty though, when we get there :0)

Thanks

Edited 17/02/2021
Safia September 25, 2019 15:25

My experience of toilet training - I have 2 birth children and 2 adopted children - though it is a long time ago now - is very much following the child's lead. With my eldest I had started to follow a book with a program but she soon cottoned on to the rewards suggested so I soon gave up. So it was very much lots of talking about what a potty is for - letting them try it out / have a go - but not expecting anything. Encouraging them to try at a time when they might generally need to go - either before bath or early in the morning when they got up - or each change of nappy if they were happy to sit on it - but only for as long as they wanted to and no expectations. I had pants etc ready and they were all used to seeing other members of the family use the loo too. The easiest one was my second BD - one day she just announced she wanted to wear pants and I put her in them and she used the potty all the time following that. She was quite a strong minded child and with dressing I just let her choose what she wanted to wear too - only keeping suitable clothes for that season in the drawer and letting her (sometimes) choose clothes when shopping (though not everything obviously) With my son who had Hypospadias (opening on the penis in the wrong place) and had to have an operation before he was 3 - the consultant had said I should keep him in nappies until then but at two and a quarter he was wanting to use the toilet and wear pants like the others so I just let him and so he was trained quickly and just had to go back into nappies after the operation for the recovery time (it wasn't a problem)

Personally with your situation I would have a potty easily available where he / she knows where it is and can get there quickly. I would try not to prompt except maybe suggest at bedtime and if you're going out (if not using nappies etc) - "do you want to go" rather than insisting. I guess as your child is older and not been with you long there are probably habits from before they may need to relearn so all the more reason to be calm and let them take the lead. Do you know the history with this?

This is just my opinion - what worked for me - and my children were younger toddlers when they came so no toilet training had been started.

Edited 17/02/2021
Donatella September 25, 2019 15:42

Easy to remove clothes in an emergency, of which there will be many! I found from experience that attempting it when the weather was warmer and they could run around the house or garden with very little on made it a bit easier. Three different experiences. My eldest was fairly average I guess though poo’ing took some time to establish. We compromised as he was just going into a corner and pooing in his pants. So we negotiated - he’d tell me and we’d pop a pull up on then change it straightaway. He got there eventually.

My middly was a nightmare and it took a really long time. He was still unpredictable some years in but in his time we managed.

My daughter was easy! Clean and dry within 5 days - potty in the lounge, a selection of books, she could sit and watch kids tv and it just happened. Her reward was one smartie for a wee and two for a poo! She was out of nappies completely before she was 3.

You might find that your lo prefers the toilet - so steps and a seat. Protect car seats and buggy. Lots of cheap spare pants/knickers. And get used to him/her needing to pee in all sorts of inconvenient places! And with a girl - practice the hold so that the wee doesn’t run over your feet!

Edited 17/02/2021
CatLady1 September 25, 2019 16:25

My granddaughter was placed at 14 months. When she was about 2.5 her mum started leaving potties around and suggesting she might do a wee. LO thought it was funny to sit on the potty in her clothes and pull ups, shouting 'I'm doing a wee!' What cinched it was being given her older cousin's potty. We said 'Look, that's Lucy's old potty!' then left LO to run around without clothes on. All of a sudden she said 'I'm sitting on Lucy's potty and doing a wee!' She never looked back after that and was dry and clean within a week.

Maybe keep giving different opportunities without pressure and one day, hopefully your LO will decide for themselves. Good luck xx

Edited 17/02/2021
Bluemetro September 25, 2019 19:36

Children seem to vary. We had plenty of accidents at first and he was more likely to forget if busy. We tried having a potty to hand but DS picked it up and took it to the bathroom. However we had one of those with disposable liners to take out and he would happily use that in the park. Going out in the car was the biggest challenge as he couldn't cope with the demand of being asked to try before we left then just down the road needed a wee, so we had to remind without too much pressure. It seems that some children are quicker than others in knowing when they need to go. My DS still leaves it till last minute and then has to rush.

Edited 17/02/2021
Sparkle Motion October 6, 2019 22:38

Your child is the age that ours was when we started toilet training (He’d also been with us about 6 months then). We missed out the potty and went straight to toilet.

Initially our son was resistant to being toilet trained. What we realised is that he didn’t respond to the usual encouragement that using a toilet is what big boys do. At the time nursery used that sort of encouragement lots. He told us he didn’t want to be a big boy as big boys don’t get hugs. Might not be the case in your situation but for us it was useful to know as we could then give lots of reassurance that he’d still be my baby and get hugs. We also realised he liked the closeness of the contact of changing his nappy so a big hug when he’d successfully used the toilet. After the initial resistance he trained quickly being that much older.

Edited 17/02/2021

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