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My initial thought was the general trend in teenagers for goo and putty and other sensory gel experiments they are all looking at on you tube and maybe this is her version of experimenting . Other than than that I have no experience as mine are quite young. But there does always seem to be something to worry about doesn't there. I hope someone comes along to give more expert advice.

My child is/was like this, now 17. In our case a birth child, so adoption may or may not have anything to do with it. Look at all her behaviour patterns over the years. You may only find small clues as some children, especially girls, are masters at pretending to fit the norm. With our child they turned out to be Aspergers with severe sensory overload. Not wiping may be related to not being able to cope with the feeling of the toilet paper in that particular spot, or it may be she simply does not get it. Mine did not. Same with brushing teeth. Still needs reminding and standing over if I want to make sure it has been done. And when periods started... well, it is still a battle. Aspie girls are rarely detected, google Aspergers girls symptoms and I am sure you will find some useful material to determine whether further investigation may be prudent. There are so many myths around Aspergers, e.g. a lot of people think think they have no empathy etc. Could not be further from the truth, if anything, Aspie girls feel everything so strongly. - Sometimes even other people's feelings which it is highly stressful and confusing as they do not know what is happening to them, just that they have these enormously overwhelming feelings. With the benefit of hindsight and the knowledge we now have, there were so many clues which no one picked up. The most surprising thing I came to realize in all of this was that I am convinced that I am one of those undiagnosed females too.

The toilet flushing - lack of - isn’t unusual. I have three teenagers, I can’t count the number of occasions each day that I have to flush after them. Messy knickers - we get that too with DD despite showing her countless times. She is on the spectrum but pretty certain it’s not sensory with her. It’s more about lack of forethought, ability to pre plan and to think through. And worse if she’s in a rush. I just buy endless supplies of cheap black knickers now. If she hasn’t started her periods yet, I’d start planning for that ... pooey knicks have nothing on the bloodstained ones we now have. Visuals are easier than too many words here - so I did a step by step visual plan for my daughter which helped her to organise herself. The other stuff you talk about could be sensory - how is she with food, textures, clothes etc? Maybe it’s less about smearing and more about the need for sensory input?

Our dd is also 11 and although she doesn't soil her underwear, she regularly forgets to flush, blocks the toilet up, smears with lip gloss, creams and lotions. She needs sensory input. She has a diagnosis of Asperger's and sensory processing disorder. She is able to mask her difficulties but lets it out at home and I believe the smearing and mixing lotions and potions is her way of regulating herself. I allow it to some extent and clear up when she's at school. I feel that she needs to do it as some sort of release. We only had a couple of incidents of faecal smearing when very little. I've tried buying her slime making kits to make it into a 'proper' activity with some success. She also needs other sensory input like chewing, tight clothing, crunchy food etc. I think that many girls with ASD mask until the pressure becomes too much socially and academically and then the cracks begin to show. Do you think that your dd might have some of these underlying needs? What do school say? A xx

Could the recent stuff either be due to the onset of puberty/teenage hormones in some way or maybe due to the primary school to high school transition - my son (12) is finding things stressful just now as he's doing enhanced transition sessions in the local high school and although he's enjoying it, I think his anxiety levels have rocketed

Hello colliecross! Lovely to see you here. Re smearing things I think it can be anxiety related, especially with continence. But I think maybe it’s very sensory thing and a way of expressing something that defies words. Have a look at sensory things for her, seeing a sensory OT may be a way forwards or INPP.org.uk I WISH I’d tried it earlier with my ac. Young Pip is also 11. She’s had a fairly big chunk of trauma having lived with her older adopted sibs. I had learned sensory stuff is powerful So I use quite a bit with her, even now. Reading the out of sync child Using low lighting, sandalwood and vanilla plug ins, my obsession perfume. I put cream on her hands and feet after a bath. It does help her. Also helps me reattune with her. It’s very healing when it’s hard to put words to things.

I am so sorry for the delay in replying to my post. I’ve been having lots of trouble with passwords not being recognised on here for some reason. I wrote a lengthy response yesterday then as I pressed ‘save’ I got a note saying the website was being updated and to try later. So frustrating! Thank you all so much for taking the time to reply. I really do think that Pup would benefit from morse sensory play..and in fact we did some messy stuff at the weekend. I discovered more ‘pooey pants’ yesterday and asked her..in a non-confrontational nice way..why it was happing. She says she doesn’t know, she says she doesn’t get an urge to go..it just happens. I asked her how she though it would be when she is grown up..does she think she will still have pooey pants, she said NO because she would be an adult then. So I am going to do a bit of research into the physical side of things. We often discuss our bodies..especially as she is aware of stuff as they’ve done physical and sexual education at school, and I try to chat with her so she doesn’t get embarrassed. We discuss periods etc and I keep re-enforcing to tell me if she is worried as I’m here to help, it happens to all girls etc and I’ve bought her pads and shown her how to put them in her pants. Phew! I’ve been trying to think how she has been growing up over the years. She has always been quite withdrawn in new settings, like a rabbit in the headlights. She will not put herself forward and appears uncomfortable. She hates loud noises, she always hated balloons as she feared them bursting and missed parties because of this. She becomes quite hysterical if me and her dad ever argue, even when we reassure her we are debating something etc..she really becomes quite extreme and feels we are goin* to split up. We don’t argue very often at all...my husband is very laid back..and we have a strong marriage. She is very loving, she knows ( we’ve chatted about this when she is upset) how much we love her and how precious she is to us. She struggles academically, but enjoys school and is happy there. She is very compliant at school and I don’t feel 100% comfortable. So maybe this is why she dies play out with the smearing. Lots to think about. Thank you all so much. CC