Edited 17/02/2021
Worried about intros
Mustbemad
September 6, 2012 09:42
I have beaning readin the boards for a while but have finally decided to be brave a post. Am not sure what I am after but hope this post will make sense!Ok we are linked go to matching panel for a boy and girl 2&3 in a few weeks. This is not the problem. We have met the FCCand was terrible. Don''t want to post all details as very easy to then trace and FC in some trouble over meeting. Long story short she does not want to give "her babies" up as nobody will be good enough for them as parents other than her. My house was wrong our pets were wrong even though she has the same pets as me!Now instead of the normal nerves for intros we are so worried about going to her house. If she was that rude in my home what will she be like in her own home knowing kids are leaving.SW for both me and kids SW are fab. Are aware how bad visit was and very supportive. We do not have any info on kids from FC though. She does not feel the need as "aware we will not cope and will get her kids back"
Changeisafoot
September 6, 2012 09:49
Hello Mustbemad.I'm sorry I am not able to give you advice as I am still in home assessment but didn't want to read and run. How awful for you. I am so sorry to hear this and can totally understand how disconcerting this would be. I am sure some of the fab foster carers will be along to advise you soon but this seems so much more than the foster carer simply having trouble moving the children on and I am glad to hear you are feeling supported by the SWs. It sounds to me that she is deliberately sabotaging by not giving you information on the children and it doesn't sound like her handling of the situation is putting the children first at all. Wishing you all the best and some good advice to follow from others.
Edited 17/02/2021
Wriggles
September 6, 2012 14:16
God how I hate posts like this it makes me feel I have to apologise for all the rubbish FC's out there who cant put the needs of the child first no matter how hard it is for them. My guess is that this is not a very experienced FC and so I would be asking your SW to make sure FC's own supportworker is very aware of issues and is present at all meetings and on first day of intros to support FC (who I hope is just struggling with loosing Lo's rather than setting out to sabotage their new life) It would also be benificial if the support worker could be encouraged to have some input before then in how FC prepares for intros as believe it or not most of us have recieved no training on how to handle one of the most important things we do within our role. It is a terribly emotional time for all involved and if children have been in place for a long time can feel very much like giving your own child away and so yes it is hard but with good support and everyone being aware of this situation beforehand I hope you will all make it through successfully.
Edited 17/02/2021
Hilly7
September 6, 2012 16:08
I am really sorry that you are in this situation. It is not how foster care is meant to be. You have already had a lot of good advice on the other thread. I would make sure that a SW is present at the first and the last intro and also that they are available for telephone contact on a daily basis. They should already be talking to the foster carer about how their attitude is not OK.
Edited 17/02/2021
Mustbemad
September 6, 2012 18:45
There are several issues with FC on her behaviour. She is a very experienced carer but just too attached to these kids. Great in one respect bad in another.Have no ideas on routines or what kids like to eat etc so can't prepare. Have had an email forwarded to say they have lots of clothes, shoes and coats so we will not need to buy anything. Can't make rooms individual as no info on what they like other than pink and blue.Am sure we will be pleasantly surprised and intros will be great, is just something else to worry about
Edited 17/02/2021
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