Edited 17/02/2021
adopting 2 AC with 1 BC
sapphirezodiac
September 20, 2009 23:37
we are in home study and sw has been askingif we would consider taking 2. we hadnt really thought about it, we only really expected 1. the idea of suddenly getting the family we would have had overnight (if things hadnt gone wrong) is quite interesting but we worry about the inbalance and dislodging of our BC?have any of you adopted 2 at once with only 1 BC and has it really pushed your BC out by being immedaitley outnumbered by the 2 who had such a close connection?thank you
Midge
September 20, 2009 23:42
IMHO I would only consider that if your BC was considerably older, probably 6-8 years older than the oldest adoptee. That would mean your BC had an established life which existed beyond home and that home and parents were not the be-all and end-all of their lives (as they often are when they are under 7).I'm a believer in bigger age gap is probably better.Midge
Edited 17/02/2021
yogima
September 21, 2009 10:13
hello sapphire zodiacWe are sort of in a similar situation - in the middle of home study with 6 year old birth son.( I also have 2 much older daughters, my son's half siblings.)We had expressed an interest in adopting 2 children but have, after thinking about it decided that it would be in our son's best interests to do it separately. I also worried that he would feel 'left out' of the younger two's already established bond. Especially since he is already slightly the 'odd one out' as my girls are full siblings, but more importantly have been close in age as they have grown up and much older than him.(One has left home for uni and the other one plans to do it next year so in lots of ways he is more like an only child) So we have decided to adopt one child first and then (if all goes to plan!) let the two of them bond and claim each other as siblings before (maybe) going on to do it all again.Our sw agrees with us that it would be better for him this way. She had said that it could be some considerable time though before it would be acceptable to even be considered to adopt again, depending on the age of the first child adopted, potentially even after they have been settled in school for a year. Different if they are very young at placement.I really get how tempting it must be for you to get the full family you've wanted and only you can judge how your bc would take it. But we've decided it's not for us.Good luck with the rest of home study and with whatever you choose to do.yogimax
Edited 17/02/2021
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